In Control
by Mrs. Nina Cullen
Summary: What if when Edward left Bella did something about it? What if she tried to take control of things? REWRITE
1. Inspiration

Title: **In Control**  
Author: Mrs. Nina Cullen  
Rated: T  
Genre: Romance/Drama

Note: I do not own Twilight or any of its character.  
_Set up - Edward has left Bella. She has gone into the forest (as per Book) but instead of being in zombie mode till January, she will come out in December when an idea occurs to her_.

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**Chapter 1: Inspiration**

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_I used to be my own protection / but not now_

_Cause my path had lost direction / some how_

_A black wind took you away / from sight_

_And held the darkness over day / that night … _

_So now you're gone _

_And I was wrong _

_I never knew what it was like _

_To be alone..._

_Linkin Park – Valentine's Day_

**Prelude: Inspiration  
Bella's POV**

I was lying in my bed after dinner. I hadn't heard much of what Charlie had said to me. I just tried to seem like I had been listening, so I would nod and try to answer questions if I heard them. I usually felt bad when I did that and most of the time I worried that I might agree to something I might regret. My poor father had to deal with the aftermath of what had happened.

I tried not to sleep much these days; it was harder to control my thoughts when I was sleeping. Not that it mattered much I had the same dream, with out variation, every night since that ill fated night. I shuttered at the thought of it. That was the reason I tried so hard not to think of any thing that might make the hole in my chest grow and hurt more than it already did.

I stared at the ceiling forcing my self not to think, feel or sleep. I succeeded in the first to but my body wanted to sleep, I couldn't stop it from happening. There was only two ways I knew to stop myself from sleeping altogether. Option one was to not exist anymore but if I took that option it would hurt my parents a lot more than I hurt right now and I couldn't do that to them. I wouldn't. Option two was to be one of them. I would give anything for it right now but it was no longer a viable option. So I'm stuck here in pain and unable to stop the memories from consuming my slumber.

I woke up before the sun was up like most mornings, and like every other time I woke up crying. I forced my self to get dressed and go down to eat. When I got there Charlie was still there having breakfast. He had a stack of papers sitting next to him on the table. He put down his newspaper and looked at me. He smiled at me, something was up I could tell.

"I got the applications I told you about last week." Shit, I knew not paying attention when he spoke would bit me in the ass at the end. What could I do now tell him I never hear anything he says anymore? "Sherry, the new receptionist at the station, helped me pick out some good ones." He must have seen some confusion in my face because felt the need to add. "I'm talking about College application Bella. You should really get going on submitting some before it's too late." He pushed the stack of papers in front of to me.

"Thanks dad it must have slipped my mind, sorry. I'll get on it this afternoon." He must have seen through me because ha gave me that 'yeah right' look as he got up to put his dish in the sink. "Don't worry about the dishes I'll do them when I'm done." I looked through the applications just to look interested. I saw a couple from Arizona, he probably thought I would want to be some were that was more like the home I left. There was one form Florida, close to my mom, figures. There was one from Washington not to far from here. But then there was the last one from Alaska. I wasn't sure why at that moment when I saw Alaska University written on the top of the form I felt something jump inside me.

I ate my breakfast or lack there of, then did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. When I was done I took the papers to my room and decide to do some laundry to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have time to think. Once that was going I sat in front of my computer. I hadn't responded to any of my moms emails so I thought I would do that while I did laundry. I turned on my computer and waited patiently for it to stat and load up the extremely slow internet. As I waited I saw the applications on my desk and picked them up. I knew I wasn't going to college but Charlie didn't and I didn't want to tell him, at least not yet anyways. So I decided for he's sake I would fill out them out, just enough to look like I'm trying but not enough to get in. I went through each one filling them out. A few of them I looked up on the web to see if it were difficult to get in. The last one I got to was the one in Alaska, the one that made my stomach jump. I looked up some basic information like I had for the rest. Then it hit me, why I hadn't thought of it before I wasn't sure. I remembered _he _had once told me that there was another "vegetarian" coven in Alaska. They were like family, cousins _ he _said. They might know where the Cullens were. Even if _he_ didn't love me, I knew or more I hoped that Alice still did. She was my best friend. If they didn't know were the Cullens were, maybe they would turn me. Then maybe I could find them, him. Maybe he would change his mind if I was an equal and not such a fragile human. Just Maybe.

And so my planning began.

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**A/N: I have re written or really rewriting this story fixing all my mistakes. Also, I'm looking for a Beta if any one is interested let me know. It shouldn't take me to long to update this story. If you have already read it I am changing a few things and adding a little more. If you haven't read than enjoy and tell me what you think.**

**Nina Cullen**


	2. The Plan

**Chapter 2: The Plan**

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Note: I do not own Twilight or any of its character.

_The burst of light in the constant darkness of my life when things start falling into place._

Time moved forward as normal and yet it was late January and I hadn't even realized it. I was sitting eating breakfast one morning when Charlie caught me off guard. He wanted to send me to Florida. He thought I would be better off with my mom. That it might snap me out of the constant daze I was in. Just the thought of it must have helped, because all of a sudden I was more aware of the things going on around me. It was like a light had been turned on, not a bright light, but a light none the less. I noticed things that I hadn't seen in months at work, at school, and even at home. Yet no one seemed to noticed me. They sat by me they talked around me but it's was like I was invisible. I thought I was doing a good job blending in apparently I only blended in to the back ground.

When I tried to talk to my friends they looked at me like if an empty chair just spoke to them. I tried not to let it bother me but it did. I tried to change things the first moment I had a chance to. I asked Jessica for a girl's night out. She seemed skeptical at first but agreed to go with me. I knew once we were out it wouldn't take much to get her talking. I knew this would keep Charlie off my back for the time being, at least I hoped it would. That night we went to Port Angeles to see a movie. The night was uneventful, mostly, besides the freak out in the theater and the moment of temporary insanity I had as we walked to get some food. What you may ask happened I heard his voice and although I knew it was wrong I wanted to hear more.

I got home that night scared of the nightmares I would have. Not from the zombie movie but from my episode, having heard him so vividly was sure to cause a really bad night. Charlie was waiting for me when I had gotten home. He was worried about my whereabouts that night and was very surprised when I told him. Then with more enthusiasm than needed he handed me my mail. Reluctantly I took it, I scanned the first two pieces they were only junk mail. Why he thought I would want a letter from a store in Seattle I didn't know. Then I got to the last few pieces. One was from FSU; one was from Arizona State and the last from Alaska University. My Heart was pounding all my plans were riding on this I need to get in to Alaska if I was going to get what I wanted. I opened the FSU letter first just to get it over with. I knew that once I opened the Alaska letter no matter what it says the others wouldn't matter. I needed to play my cards right. I gawked at the letter with my mouth open wide. As I read what was written on it.

"I...I got in." I was more surprised than anyone could have imagined. I put no effort in to the application. As a matter of fact I only put effort in to the Alaskan application, and a lot of it.

"Congrats sweetie, I'm so proud of you. And you'll be so close to your mother…If you go there." I barely heard any thing he had to say. I put down the Florida letter and looked at the other two envelopes. I wanted to open the Alaska letter but knew I wouldn't bother opening anything else if I did. So I opened the Arizona letter and to my utter surprise I found I got in to that one too. My dad seemed elated that I had gotten in two both school he padded my shoulder with pride in his eyes. I stopped and stared at the last letter. I knew that all my plans rode on this letter not that it would stop me but I would have to start planning allover again and that would take too long. I took a deep breath and turned the envelope around and slowly opened it. Slowly I unfolded the page. I read the words carefully and slowly three times just to make sure I had read it correctly. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Sorry about Alaska Bells" he put his hand on my shoulder to console me.

"Why, I got in." he looked at me surprised.

"Oh. Well that's good, you have choices and choices are good." I'm not sure why but he didn't sound to enthusiastic about me getting in to Alaska. Parental intuition maybe.

"Dad, I think I'm going to bed. I've had along night and I have a lot to think about" Like how much a flight to Alaska cost and how soon can I reasonable get there, not that he needed to know any of that.

"Okay night." I left to my room and sat on my bed. Holding my pillow close to me, I was so full of emotions and I hadn't really felt anything in along time that it felt foreign to me. I all my plans were working out but I still had some things to work out. I went on my computer, that at the moment seemed like it would never start loading up, but when it did I started looking for flights and hotels. Once I got everything ready I started to plan out what I was going say to Charlie and the school and my mother. I had to make sure that all three stories were believable and that if any one of them talked to the other they would have the same story. I also had to practice and almost believe it myself I knew I wasn't a good liar and most people would see through me if I didn't believe it myself.

Few weeks had passed since I got my letters and I was ready to tell Charlie. I really had no choice I had to tell him and I only had one week till I left and if he said no I would need the time to change his mind. Not that I mattered I would still go but if Charlie was on board then I would worry less knowing that he wouldn't be sending the FBI to look for me. I had leaked some information to my mother knowing she would talk to him. Then I made arrangements at school about my future absents. I knew no one in town would keep there mouth shout so he would hear something from some. I had made his favorite dish for dinner and waited for him to come home from fishing. I wanted him to be happy. It was easier to get what I wanted that way, not that it was had to get anything from Charlie. I placed myself on the couch and waited to hear him drive up to the house. When I heard the cruiser I opened my book and pretended to read.

"Hay Bells" he greeted me as he came in to the house

"Oh hi dad I didn't hear you drive up. How was you day?" He smiled at me.

"Great, how was yours?" I placed my book down and walked in to the Kitchen.

"Same as always, dinners ready if you're ready to eat. I made your Favorite." He looked at me with a knowing look.

"What's the occasion" I started to serve him and myself.

"Here before it gets cold." I tried not to answer, luckily he didn't push. We sat eating quietly every once in awhile I felt him look at me, waiting for me to say something. When I was done eating I went to the sink and started doing the dishes. I heard my dad get up from the table. This was it. He was happy, he was fed no better time than now. With out turning to him I called him before he could leave.

"Dad"

"Yes" he turned and looked at me.

"There's something I need to run by you, if that's okay."I tried not to make eye contact.

"Go ahead what is it?" He smiled he knew what I was going to say. I think he was glad that I finally decided to say something.

"Well I did some research on some of the schools I got accepted to. A few of them have these new student tours things. They show you around the school let you sit in some classes. You know show you the rope so to say.

"And you want to go?"

"Well Yes I do."

"When is this tour?"

"In a week, I'll miss a few days of school but I talked to Ms. Cope and she said I could take some work with me so I don't get behind." I looked at him that had been the hardest part.

"Where is it?" he tilted his head as if he didn't know.

"Alaska" I smiled at him.

"And what about Florida State and Arizona?" crap I hadn't thought of him asking me about the other schools. I turned to the sink and continued the dishes.

"Well," I tried to come up with something and I hoped he wouldn't see through me. "They have there's later. I think FSU has one in the summer and I missed the one at Arizona." _Please, please don't see through my lies please. _I thought to my self. I wasn't sure why I hadn't thought of this. I should have known he would want me to close to my mom or even him.

"I'll let you go under one condition."

"What is it?" not that it mattered one bit I was going to go no matter what. I would promise almost anything at that moment.

"Give the other schools a chance. Don't settle you have options use them."

"Okay dad." I wasn't going to go to any school so they all had about the same chance of having me as a student than any other school.

"So when are you leaving?"

"February 9th"

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**A/N: There wasn't much changed here but I tried to fix all my previous mistakes. If you find any pleas let me know. I am horrible with grammar and tend to over look things that my seem really simple.**

**Thank you Please Read and Review**

**Nina Cullen**


	3. Finding Hope

**Chapter 3: Finding hope**

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So I, I won't be the one

Be the one to leave this

In pieces

And you, you will be alone

Alone with all your secrets

And regrets, don't lie

You promised me the sky

Then tossed me like a stone

You wrap me in your arms

And chill me to the bone

There's truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've got's what you didn't take

**Linkin Park – In Pieces**

Charlie was driving me to the airport. He had insisted persistently that he drive me, '_a father's right'_, he had said to me. I agreed to this knowing it made no difference, he would take me regardless of what I said. The car ride was pretty quiet all they way there, which was to be expected with me and Charlie. If my mother had been driving me she would have been going on and on about my safety, college boys and how to fully enjoy my temporary freedom from my life. This is another reason I liked being with Charlie, we could be in a car for two hours and not one awkward silent moment, we were just silent. Once we were at the airport we said our good byes. It was quick and painless just a half a hug and a please be careful from Charlie. It was always the same even when I was younger. The flight wasn't that long but it was very turbulent. I was never scared of flying but when the the plane starts to shake I can't help but cringe with fright. Once I landed and got off the plane I took a deep breath of relief. Then, I called Charlie and Renee to tell them I had made it safely to Alaska.

It took two taxis to get me to my hotel I had reserved but I made it. I checked in and made my self comfortable in my room, I went trough all the guides and maps I had collected to map out my strategies for looking for the Denali coven. I was sure they would live close to the woods if not in them. The maps didn't help me much, but really what was I looking for a big red dot on the map that says '_vampire house here'_ that wasn't likely. Then I decided a more aggressive approach might help. So, I mad my list of places I would go and set off in my search. I went to the Denali wildlife conservation museum, the visitor center the out door recreation center and even the hunting lounge. I asked all employees and some random people if they had seen some very beautiful women with pale skin, golden eyes, a graceful walk and cold skin. But not one person knew any thing that would help me. I knew it would be hard but I thought that I would have at least some leads it's not like they fit in naturally. I decided to go back to my hotel room to recollect and be ready for the next day. I had no plans of leaving till I at least talked to them.

The next morning came not quick enough, I had had a very horrible dream of being attacked. I couldn't see who or what just that I was attacked. It was disturbing and refreshing at the same time. It was horrible to feel like I was being attacked but it was different from my other recurring dream. After a quick shower I got dressed and went to get some breakfast in the small cafe in the lobby of the hotel then went on my way. I stopped at a few places I had gone that day before just to make sure, new day new people. Then I went to a few local everyday places like a small shopping center, a few gas stations and a mom and pop grocery store just in case they like to keep up appearances, like the Cullens. At lunch time I stopped at a small diner to eat and plan out my next step. I sat in a distant corner in this small diner, away from prying eyes. There weren't a lot of people but I didn't want to be interrupted in my thinking by other people's chatter. I was interrupted from my thoughts when the waitress came to take my order.

"What can I get for you today, darlin'?" I looked at the menu quickly not having any idea what they had here.

"I'll have the burger with fries, please."

"Anything to drink?"

"Large coke please." She walked away and was back with my drink with in minutes.

"Here you go, your food will be out in just a moment, is there any thing else I can get you?"

"No thank you." She left me to my thoughts once again and I had many. What was my next step? Where would be the best place to look for them? Who would be the best person to ask? Who here knew them? Did any one know them? Should I start asking randomly in the street about them? Would the couple at the other end of the diner know about them or where to find them? How about those two guys that are walking in to the diner now, should I go ask them? My food finally came and I ate still thinking. I felt lost and hope less. How had I not known how hard this would be, silly me for thinking it would be too easy. The waitress came over to refill my drink and hand me my check when I took a stab in the dark.

"Excuse me but I was looking for some friends, actually some friends of a friend and I needed some help. I know the live around here but I'm not sure were. Their names are Tanya and Irena they're beyond beautiful, pale, very graceful, and have golden eyes."

"No sorry ma'am I haven't seen any one like that around here."

"Thank you anyways." _There goes that, I'm stuck _I thought to my self. I paid for my food and was walking to the door when one of the guys at the counter came up to me.

"Excuse me miss." I turned to look at the guy. "Sorry but I just couldn't help over hearing your conversation with the waitress." He paused.

"Your point please I'm kind of in a hurry." The other guy came up to us.

"Dude can we go I don't want to be late for Tanya and Irena. You know how Tanya gets when we're late." My head snapped up and my eye popped open. The first guy chuckled.

"Like I said I couldn't help over hearing what you said and I think we can help."

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**A/N sorry this is short but I had to put something out. I have most of the story finished just working on the end. Hope you enjoy I'll have more up soon (promise). Please read and review. I like all types a criticism it helps me improve on weak point. Thank you for reading. **

**Oh, and if any one has any song suggestions that would be great. I really want to have a song for each chapter that sets the mood. So if anyone has anything they like let me know. Thanks again,**

**Nina Cullen**


	4. Denali

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight :(

**Chapter 4: Denali**

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In hind sight I knew I probably shouldn't have gone with two strange guys in a car, with me being a danger magnet and all, but in my gut I knew that this was the only chance I would have of finding what I was looking for. There was two things that could happen. If they were honest, they would take me to whom I was looking for. If they weren't they would end up kill me. Either way my life would end, one way or another.

We drove for about a half hour to a small house just out side the small town we were in. It only took two minutes once we got there for two women to come out of the house. They were beautiful, graceful and they were just who I was looking for. I got slightly nervous as I saw them glide towards us. The one closest to me had golden blond hair and her eyes were the same golden color as the Cullens. The one just behind her had strawberry blond hair with the same color eyes. The blond looked angry and her sister looked confused.

"Aren't we enough?" the strawberry blond teased as she looking at the guys.

"What's she for?" the blond asked almost snarling towards me. Her golden eyes stared piercingly in to mine. I wasn't scared or taken aback by her actions I had received worse glares from Rosalie, all the time. I guessed that my apparent calmness really pissed her off because her next words to me were laced with as much venom as she could muster. "Who are you?" she snapped and me. Then Peter (the guy who had approached me in the diner) stepped forward.

"Sorry Irina she was looking for you two and since we were on our way to see you and Tanya, I thought we could bring her." Irina walked up to me, faster then normal, for a human that is. The two men gawked at her movement towards me. I stood strong and unaffected by it which made her angrier. Her sister, I know assumed was Tanya, was cautious. Even her words were more cautious.

"Who are you and what do you want?" she had a slight offensive growl in her word. Irina crouched a little and growled at me. The men were taken aback by the situation. I, on the other had fully expected it, kind of anyways.

"Irina, relax I'll take care of this" Tanya said in a low voice I wasn't meant to hear but being around the Cullens had me more aware to these things. She walked to me then told her sister "Take the guys to the house I'll handle her." She looked at me as the others left in to the house. "So?" She said then waited for a response from me .

"Sorry," I said to her softly be for continuing. "I didn't mean to cause trouble for you and your sister."

"How do you know us? How were you not frightened by Irina's actions?"

"I don't know you per-say but I've heard a bit about you. My... my ex…" I paused a moment just thinking the words. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them before talking again "My x-boyfriend mentioned you and your family once. I came to see if you can help me with something."

"I still don't understand. I'm not sure what you think I, we can help you with." she gestured to her self then the house where her sister had just left to.

"Well there's one of two things you can help me with." I started to lose my nerve. I started to think I couldn't do this. Tanya gave me a quizzical look, I tried to say something but couldn't.

"Well go ahead what is it?" she said getting impatient with me. I took another deep breath.

"Either turn me in to a vampire or tell me where I can find the Cullens." I said faster then I had intended but with conviction. Tanya was obviously very surprised by my request.

"How… How do you know what we are, what they are?"

"My name is Isabella Swan. I live in Forks, Washington. Edward Cullen is the ex Boyfriend I spoke of. Alice Cullen is my best friend or at least she was before they left Forks." My heart pounded faster with every word I said. My heart tore open when I said their names. Yet my voice never falter. It didn't show my weakness. It was strong and determined and I felt a little proud that I was able to say it with out breaking down in to tears.

"Well that's something. I can see know why Edward never accepted any of my advances. Why he stayed clear of me. He has a thing for human girls, not that I can blame him." She looked towards the house where two human males were waiting for her. "But I am afraid I don't know were the Cullens are at the moment."

"Then turn me in to a vampire." I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

"I'm not sure I can do that. You see _we_ have never turned any one before. We, my family and I, came together along time ago already changed. The only one I know who has ever turned any one is Carlisle and if they didn't turn you when they had a chance then I'm not sure if I should. They must have had their reasons for keeping you human." She looked at me tilting her head In thought. "This isn't for Edward is it? I mean I've known him along time he is very stubborn, I don't think changing would change his mind." My heart pounded, was I doing this for him, for me or both. Could I live for ever with out him if he still didn't want me? Would he want me if I was a vampire? If I didn't try I wouldn't know would I. I could still have the Denali as a friend and the rest of the Cullens if they wanted. I decided I was doing this I didn't care for whom. I need to take a chance and take control of my own life, my own existence.

"It's not for _him._ I know _he_ doesn't care about me and I'm not diluted enough to believe he ever cared or ever will. I am doing this for me and only me it's something I thought about, a lot." I said with as much confidence and determination in my voice and words that I almost had myself convinced that I meant it. She looked at me for a second before she spoke.

"I'll have to talk to my family and see what they say. Maybe we can contact Carlisle." And that was that, she said no more. I told her where I was staying so she could find me once they had made their decision either way. Tanya then called me a cab and sent me back to my hotel to wait.


	5. Questions, Answers and Complications

**Chapter 5: Questions, Answers and Complications**

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_Carlisle POV_

_The youth of today, with all the technological advances they have at hand and yet they can't write a proper term paper. Most of the mistake could be fixed with merely glance into a dictionary. Hmm I wonder who could be calling at this hour. I do hope its Edward he's been gone a long time he really shouldn't be alone. He never should have left her. He should have known how hard it would be to leave her._

"Carlisle, dear," my beautiful wife called "you have a phone call. It's Tanya she says it's important."

"Thanks." I said when I got down stairs and grabbed the phone from her. I placed a kiss on her forehead before answering the call "Hello there Tanya to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's not so pleasant, actually, Carlisle. I have a situation that requires your assistance, immediately."

"What is it friend? How can I be of service to you?"

"Well we had an unexpected visitor this afternoon. She said she knew you and your family. She came to me with a very particular request one that I can't grant." I wonder what this was about, Tanya wouldn't call like this if it wasn't important.

"Yes Tanya what is it I don't understand. Did something happen?"

"No nothing has happened yet but your presence would be appreciated. She says her name is Isabella Swan and she asked if we would turn her and if we couldn't or wouldn't, she wanted to know where to find you. She mentioned being involved with Edward and befriending Alice. She says she has thought this through, But I'm not sure she means it. I think its best if you were here you have a way with Humans."

"She wants Edward. She will do any thing for him." I thought out loud.

"No Carlisle, she made that point Clear she knows there is no hope with Edward and I can't blame her I have known him a long time and he's not one for relationships."

"I will be there by morning Tanya. I will take care of this, you need not worry."

"Thank you Carlisle." I turned and headed in to the dinning room.

"Esme, Emmett, Rosalie I need you in the dinning room please."

"Yes dear what's the matter?" Esme said as she came in the room a second later Rosalie and Emmett came in.

"Yes Carlisle" They said together.

"Sit we have a situation on hand. Bella has gone to Denali; she found Tanya and has asked to be turned. Tanya won't do it, understandably. Bella told her she knew us, so Tanya has called me to come get her."

"Wow, desperate much. I mean what that girl won't do to be with Edward." Emmett said half laughing.

"She's crazy really, why would she want to give every thing up, its insanity." Rosalie said angrily. Esme gave them both dirty looks she so cute when she does that. Then she turned to me.

"What do you want us to do?" she said.

"I need Alice on the phone and need to know what she sees. And I need some one to get a hold of Edward if I can't get her to listen then he might be the only one."

"Carlisle what aren't you telling us?" Esme asked worried

"Nothing I just can't help feel like we have to hurry. This is Bella where talking about I'm afraid she'll attract some type of danger if left alone to long. If she gets hurt I don't even want to think of what Edward would do." They all realized what the possibility of Bella finding herself in danger and getting hurt. And we all know Edward well enough to know he would over react especially when it comes to Bella.

"Dear," Esme handed me the phone "here it's Alice."

"Alice I need you assistance."

"Yes Carlisle what's the matter."

"Bella went to Denali to find Tanya and succeeded and know is asking to be changed in to one of us. I am leaving to go get her but I need to know if you see any trouble."

"Oh my, I saw her on a plane a few days ago and then I saw her somewhere with snow I never thought." She paused "let me see if I see any thing." She paused again this time for a few minutes before she spoke again. "I see me in her hotel room talking to her and I see Edward in Forks in a few days I see some flashes of other thing but nothing seems definite. I better meet you in Denali and if Edward is going to Forks then some one should be there for him just in case."

"Thank you Alice I'll see you there."

**Bella's POV**

How long does it take to make this kind of decision, I had been sitting in my hotel room for hours I think I might have fallen asleep. I woke up just as tired as when I had fallen asleep. It was nothing new I haven't slept well in months. When I looked at the time and realized how much time had passed I started to panic. Over twelve hours had passed with out a word form Tanya. I knew time for a human and time for a vampire were two very different things but come on. I got up and showered then made my way down to hotel lobby to check with the receptionist if I had missed any calls while I was sleeping. No messages, no calls, nothing. I became more anxious with every second that passed. When I got back to my room I noticed my room door was opened. I hadn't remembered leaving it open. Maybe the maid was cleaning my room. I walked in slowly feeling kind of paranoid. I laughed for a moment and shook off the feeling. When I walked all the way in I froze. There was some guy going through my things. When I gasped he looked up at me and in that instant I knew what he was. His eyes were blood red and his skin was pale. There was a vampire in my room and not one I trusted. I wanted to run and hide but I knew that was useless. Then I felt a little hope form just outside the hall I heard Alice calling my name.

"Bella?" she called again as she walked through the door. "Bella first you shouldn't leave your door op…" that second everything changed. Just as Alice came in the unknown vampire ran to grab me and rushed back to the other side of the room. He held me tightly by the waist and his other held my mouth closed. I was looking in to Alice's surprised eyes pleading for her help. She crouched ready to attack him and save me the moment she had the opportunity. But the monster holding had other plans.

"Don't move" he snarled at Alice. She growled loudly at him."I meant it. You move and I _will_ snap he neck right here in front of you. And I'm guessing you wouldn't want me to do that, would you?"

"What do you want, I'll get you anything." She said through her teeth. She looked in my eye and my eyes pleaded with her for help. I was scared and I couldn't help the tears coming from my eyes I hadn't been this scared since James had tried to kill me last year.

"I want her boyfriend." What? I thought. He didn't want me he wanted Edward. What had Edward done to have this monster after him? How did he know about me? Why would he think Edward would be with me or come for me? Alice seemed just as confused as me.

"He's not here" she said. But that wasn't a surprise to me or to the monster with his clod hands around me.

"Well then I suggest you get him here. I don't need to remind you what will happen to her if I don't get what I want. I really am glad I have her to give you some incentive. I never thought any one could care about a human enough risk their lives." I saw fear in Alice's face something I had never seen which scared me.

"I will get him to you just tell me when and where you want him." I tried to shake my head no to tell her not to let Edward get hurt I couldn't live with that. As much as he hurt me I didn't want him dead.

"You can tell him to meet me in Forks. There will be a note waiting for him telling him where to meet me. ALONE."


	6. When u realize u should never have left?

**Chapter 6 – What do you do when your world seems to crumble around you? When you realize you should never have left? **

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**Edward's** **POV**

It was sundown and I was sitting on a beach some where in South America. It was the first time in weeks that I had come out in the open I'm not sure why but I just had to get out. I would be traveling tonight I'm not sure yet where I'm going but I had to go some place else. I stared at the stars but couldn't see them I couldn't focus on any thing. Lately I barely hear peoples thought unless they were with in feet of me. All I ever thought of and tried not to, was her, my Isabella. To hold her and smell her sweet sent. I longed for the burning in the back of my throat. I shook the thought out of my head. She was better off with out me she was safer while I was away. I stood up and began running north at my fastest pace. I tried hard not to think of her but I could never really stop. She was, is my world and will for ever be that. I was kidding myself to think I could stay away. I would go to her I would watch her. If she was happy, if she had moved on then I would sit back and keep her safe from a distance. If by chance she wasn't happy if she was sad or hurting I would go to her and make her happy. That is if she would take me back.

My phone rang for the hundredth time this afternoon. All of my family members have, in turn, called me at least three times. Alice called the most and when I looked it was her once more. Maybe she saw me make the choice to go back to Forks. She might be anxious to see if she could go see Bella I knew they all missed her. I didn't want to answer I wanted to be left alone but maybe Alice saw something I wanted to hear. I flipped open the phone.

"Hello" I said.

"Edward, thank God you answered." I could tell something was wrong. She sounded anxious and sad which was very unlike my spunky energetic sister I know and love.

"Alice what's wrong."

"You need to get to Forks now or as soon as you can. I don't want to hear all the reasons you shouldn't just trust me to know this is important, very important."

"Alice what's going on your scaring me, and don't lie."

"She's in trouble Edward, he took her." If my heart was still beating it would have stopped that moment. My Bella was in trouble.

"What happened Alice?"

"She didn't take it well when you left Edward, not at all. She went to Alaska, she found Tanya and Irena. She asked Tanya if she could turn her. Tanya called Carlisle instead. I went to Denali ahead of him because I was closer. I was walking in to her room when I saw him holding her. I don't know who he is. He told me if I tried to save her he would kill her right there. I had no choice Edward you have to know that. He said he wanted you. He said if I got you to Forks he would let her go. You have to be there by tomorrow night. He said he was going to leave you instructions on where to meet him and what to do. We are all here waiting for you. Edward I'm sorry I didn't see it. He must have made a last minute decision. I'm, so, so sorry I couldn't take the chance Edward I was alone he would have killed her you have to believe me." I felt like I was having a bad dream, no it was horrific nightmare but I couldn't sleep ever this was real. Bella was in trouble My Bella was in danger because I left her. I thought that I was protecting her from my self and others like me when I left but she had been kidnapped by a vampire. Know she could die because I wasn't there I never should have left her.

"Alice I'm on my way I'll be there by noon tomorrow."

"Please hurry Edward." I heard Alice's voice as I closed my phone. I was going to save Bella if it's the last thing I do. She will be saved.

I made it to forks in record time. As I approached the house I heard Alice's thoughts._ Edward he left you a note. _I saw the house and I saw Alice sitting on the porch waiting for me.

"Every one is in the dinning room waiting for you. We want to know what we have to do to help here." I nodded I wasn't ready to speak. But Alice thought I wasn't ready to talk to her. _Sorry Edward I really am this is my fault if only I had seen. _

"Alice this is not your fault if anyone is to blame it's me for leaving her." We walked in to the house. Everyone's thoughts were thrown at me all at once.

_Oh Edward I'm sorry but we are all here to help you in any way possible. My poor baby boy he must be really hurting right now._ Esme thought

_We haven't read the letter yet Edward but we have a few plans of action just to be safe. We will get her out of this. _Were the thoughts of my father.

_I'm ready for a fight brother let me at them I'll rip them up and watch them burn with pleasure. I've got you back one hundred percent._ Emmett thought I could see the determination in his mind and face. I heard strategies coming from Jasper. He was just as ready for a fight as Emmett and with his military background he was more prepared as well. Rosalie sat there worried for Bella I knew that she had antagonistic feelings towards Bella but I was glad to know that it was all superficial. They handed me the note. I unfolded it and read it out loud for everyone to hear.

_**I have something that belongs to you. I'm sure you would like to get it back. Meet me in the forest two miles east of the ocean three miles north of the small village. Come alone or she will die. You have till sundown Friday to get here.**_

"What are we going to do?" Esme said. _T__he poor girl is so fragile I won't just sit her not when my son is hurting so much. She means the world to him._

"We're going to have some problems" I said to Carlisle '_Y__es Edward I noticed that too but what can we do._

"What are you talking about Edward?" Emmett asked

"It's on the other side of the treaty line. If we attempt to cross the line, we're going to have more trouble on our hands." Carlisle answered for me. I wasn't about to let that stop me I turned to my father.

"I'm not going to just stand here and wait. Carlisle you see if you can contact the tribe elders ask for permission. If it might make a difference tell them Bella is Charlie's daughter. I know he is friends with them. They might not give us too much trouble they might even help. Jasper, Emmett I want you to come with me but you need to stay back I don't want to take the chance in them see you before . Alice do you see anything." I looked at her she closed her eyes.

"Now I can see that you get to the line after that it's all fuzzy I can't see how this turns out." She looked stressed by this fact. _Edward I want to go to I've seen this guy I know what he looks like I know I can take him._

"No Alice stay here once the tribe has been contacted you guys go through that side. I don't know if this monster is alone. We me need to take percussion." I turned and ran out the house with my brothers not far be hind me. I ran at my top speed but when I got to the treaty line I stopped. I looked around I heard some one approaching me.

_You better not cross that line you stupid bloodsucker. Actually go ahead and cross give me something to do. Give me a reason to rip you to shreds._ I heard him right before I saw him. I hadn't expected it but I wasn't surprised.

"Look I really don't have time to argue with you mutt there is an emergency that needs to be taken care of." The giant wolf was now feet from me.

_Yeah okay he just wants a little lunch. One human maybe two what does it matter to a bloodsucker._

"No I'm not hungry and I don't drink you human blood. I have to get past so I can go help her."

_Sure you don't. Hay how did you know what I was thinking?_

"I know what every one is thinking. Now I need to get in to the forest. I'm not sure if you know her but you might have heard of her father, But Isabella Swan was kidnapped. She was taken from her hotel room in Alaska it was a vampire looking for me if I don't go to get her by sundown it might be too late to save her. If you want to kill me fine but can it wait till after I've save her." Then the wolf changed in to his human form. "Jacob Black." I was half surprised.

"Is Bella really in trouble?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm helping."


	7. The Forest

**Chapter 7: In the forest**

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_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own twilight or any of its character they belong to Stephenie Meyer's _

**Bella POV**

I sat on the cold floor in the forest not really sure where I was. He had taken me far away from where he had found me. I had been kidnapped by an evil vampire but I knew I would get out of this. I knew Alice would find a way to save me even if Edward didn't want to save me this time. I was sacred I knew that this could go terribly wrong but I was confident in my friend.

"You won't get away with this even if he doesn't show up the others won't leave me here. They'll come for me. There are a lot more of them then there are of you. You should just let me go and save you self." I had tried to talk myself out of this since he brought me here. I knew I couldn't run away I'd learned that the hard way with James. I had gotten a way because Edward and the rest of the Cullens had come to help me. But Edward didn't care for me anymore, I knew that much. But would he risk his life to save mine again. If not for me, would he do it for Alice, would she beg him to help?

"I'm not afraid of your other friend they will be taken care of. You on the other hand will be very unlucky if he doesn't show. I've began to see what he saw in you and I might have a little fun be for I dispose of you." I shivered at his word. His blood red eyes looked in to mine and for the first time I was more than scared and I wasn't afraid of dying. Now I was afraid of what he would do to me before he killed me. He continued to look at me while he moved closer to me. He knelt in front of me he placed is cold hand on my cheek. I tried to move away but the tree behind me didn't let me. "I'm hoping he doesn't show up I really want to be able to enjoy you." His hand moved down to my neck then he pressed his lips on my collar bone. I felt the tears going down my face. I was sacred; this scared me more than anything had ever done before. I wished for death at that moment. His hand moved down slowly then just before he could continue I his head popped up "I believe we have a visitor." He got up and ran to a small opening In front of us. I had hope. Edward had come to save me. Finally I was safe. When the monster came back it wasn't with Edward or Alice. It was Jacob he looked like he had been or was going camping. The fear over took my once again. How was I going to get out of this and how was going to get Jacob out of here? Jacob was pushed on to the ground next to me. He turned to me and smiled then winked. Didn't he realize what was going on even if it wasn't a vampire that had us prisoner? That was it he thought the monster was human he didn't know that vampires really existed. He was going to try to do something to get us out. The monster come up to me and passed his cold hands across my cheek. I stiffened and I thought I herd a growl come from Jacob.

"You should be happy I found the stray. If I get thirsty I can have it before I have fun with you. You might get to live a little longer." He passed his cold hand down my cheek one more time. I shivered, then I thought I heard Jacob growl again. The monster turned and ran out of the opening in the trees. When he was out of sight Jacob leaned in to me.

"Bella when I tell you I want you to run away as fast as you can. I want you to run that way. Do you understand?" Jake doesn't understand. He doesn't believe the legends.

"Jacob, no don't, you don't understand. Pleased don't try anything even if you manage to distract him long enough to let me run away. He's fast enough to kill you and run after me in seconds. We just have to wait. Edward will come if he doesn't then Alice will. They can get us out." Jacob moved closer to me and placed his arm around me.

"Bella do you trust me?" I nodded "Then trust that I know what I'm talking about. Please."

"Okay Jake but don't get your self killed, okay." I leaned my head on his shoulder. I'm not sure if it was because I was cold or because I had been touched by disgusting cold hand but Jacob was warm, really warm. We were sitting on the floor for a few minutes when it came back with a wicked evil smile on his face.

"It's almost time to start. They are on their way." _They_, he had back up even Jacob looked anxious with this information."I can't wait to meet to meet this Edward of yours" he said smiling at me. _Wait meet why does he want to hurt Edward if he doesn't even know him._ I thought to my self. I looked at Jacob he just mouthed _don't worry_ to me. I took a deep breath and looked at the opening in the trees. A girl came in to the opening. She had dark hair to her shoulder. Her eyes were just as blood read as the monster standing beside her.

"He's almost here Ryle. He wasn't that far behind me. Two minutes maybe less he's fast." The monster cam up to me and picked me up and held me tightly in front of him. He turned to the opening and that's when I saw Edward. I felt the monster tighten his grip a little. I looked at Edward his eyes were on the monster then on the girl beside him then on Jacob. His eyes finally meet mine.

"I'm here now let her go." Edward demanded. The monster squeezed me tighter I let out a small whimper and a tear came down my cheek. I saw Edwards fists tightened as he let out a growl. The monster chuckled slightly at that then took his free hand and traced is cold fingers from my ear down my check to my chine.

"Well you see Edward I'm not sure I really want to any more" He forced my head to look at him. "You see I've come to see the attraction. I see why you kept her around so long." He turned my head to look at Edward again. I caught Edward's eyes. Then the monster placed his cold lips on my neck and kissed me, once twice three times each time moving down a little more. My eyes widened and my breath stopped. My eyes pleaded with Edward to help to get my out of this. He looked away towards Jacob and nodded once. I saw Jacob stand up from the corner of my eye. Then Edward spoke and my eyes were on him.

"Let her go know." He demanded

"Remember what I told you Bella. Okay?" Jacob said softly and I nodded.

"This is your last warning." Edward warned the monster. But he didn't let go he just chuckled once more. The girl stood between Edward and him as a shield.

"Edward do you honestly think you can get through her before I kill your precious Bella."

"No, but lucky for me I only have take one of you down." Then from behind us a giant wolf appeared. When the girl saw it she panicked and ran. The wolf ran after her. Now the only ones left were the monster Edward and my self. The monster didn't' loosen his grip I couldn't run.

"Know let go of her of her before you death is slow and painful instead of quick and painless. Either way you're going to die today."

"You and what army?" He chuckled again but stopped when he saw Emmett and Jasper come up behind Edward. At that moment he let go of me and I ran as fast as I could out of his arm and away from what was about to happen. I was running as fast as my feet would take me when I ran in to something hard.

_**Edward's POV**_

I was on my way to Bella when I heard an unfamiliar voice in my head. _He's almost her I better tell Ryle._ So there was at least two maybe more. I was glad I had reinforcements, even if one was a young out of control werewolf.

"He's almost here Ryle. He wasn't that far behind me. Two minutes maybe less he's fast."

_Good I can't wait to get this over with so I can really enjoy the human girl. She will be fun to play with._

_Edward if you can hear me which I'm sure you can. There is more then one he has a girl with him she doesn't look that big. Oh shit He just grabbed Bella and is holding her. _I felt the anger swell up in side me he had his hand on my Bella. If he so much as hurts on hair on her body I will make his death a slow and very painful death. I was close enough to see her know I could the fear in her eyes not to mention I could smell it to.

"I'm here now let her go." I demanded. He squeezed her tighter and she let out a small whimper and a tear came down her cheek. ;_Ha it's not going to be that easy. He's going to have to stand there and suffer. Let him watch what I'm going to do to her. Give him a preview of what's in store for her once I'm done with him._ My fists tightened as I let out a growl. He chuckled slightly at that then took his free hand and traced is cold fingers from her ear down to her chine.

"Well you see Edward I'm not sure I really want to any more" He forced her head to look at him. _Just look at what I can make her do Edward. She'll do what ever I make her do and I want to do so much. _"You see I've come to see the attraction. I see why you kept her around so long." _I wonder what she tastes like. _He turned her head to look at me again. _Her soft warm skin her, irresistibly sweet smell. _I caught her eyes. He placed his cold lips on her neck and kissed it, repeatedly moving down a little more each time. I saw her eyes pleading for help. I wanted to rip him to shreds and feed him to the wolves literally. I wanted to get her out of this and hold her in my arms and make her safe. But first things first I had to take care of this monster holding _**My**_ Isabella.

_Edward I'm going to change now so be ready_, Jacob thought to me_. _I looked away towards Jacob and nodded once.

"Let her go know." I demanded at once. Then Jacob spoke.

"Remember what I told you Bella. Okay?" _Your mother better be waiting for her like you said or I'll kill you myself. _

"This is your last warning." he didn't let go he just chuckled once more. The girl stood between him and me as a shield. Like that will help.

"Edward do you honestly think you can get through her before I kill your precious Bella."

"No, but lucky for me I only have take one of you down." When the girl saw Jacob in wolf form she panicked and ran. Jacob happily ran after her. He hadn't loosened his grip on her yet. She couldn't run away. "Know let go of her of her before your death is slow and painful instead of quick and painless. Either way you're going to die today."

"You and what army?" He chuckled again but stopped when he saw Emmett and Jasper come up behind me. At that moment he let go of her and she ran. I knew Esme was waiting for her to take her to safety.

_I'm ready to fight little brother let me at them. _Emmett thought as he entered behind me.

_Edward we're right be hind you. _Jasper thought. He was scared and I didn't need jasper to tell me. I heard him think of running but I ran be hind him before he could move. My brothers and I had him surrounded.

"Now let's get to the painful part." I said to him as we moved closer to him. As we moved in three more came running towards us out of nowhere. Emmett charged the one closest to him and had it pined to the ground. Jasper took the one closest to him. With Jasper's military back ground he had it down and dismembered in no time. Then he went to help Emmett with the other two while I took care of Ryle. I charged him he was fast and ready but I was quicker I tore a chunk out of his neck. He pushed me off. I charged again and ripped his arm off he yelled in pain but didn't give up. I used his arm as I bat and slammed it in to his head causing him to fall back. I took the opportunity and jumped on him I tore his head off and quickly dismembered. I looked for Jasper and Emmett when I was done. They had already started a fire and had the three vampires burning in it. I threw in what was left of Ryle and watched him burn. We turned and went looking for the others that were standing guard just in case. Then we came upon the rest of the family fighting off an army of newborn vampires. Emmett Jasper and I ran quickly to fight them off. With in twenty minutes we had them all in the fire. Thanks to Jacob and a couple of his pack members that evened up the fight. I turned to Esme to ask her about Bella whereabouts when her thoughts hit me.

_Edward I never got to Bella we were ambushed be fore she could get to us. Go look for her we'll help. _Then I heard Alice yell and I saw her vision

_Bella is lying on the floor screaming in pain while some one kicked her and hurt her._ "Edward we don't have time this is going to happen now" Alice screamed at me.

**A/N: Hi thank you for reading please tell me what you think. **

**Also if any one is in need of story ideas I have so many floating in my head that I don't have time to write I even have notes on some of these ideas. SO if any one wants one let me know because I would rather give the idea away and be able to read then have it sitting on the back burner indefinitely. PM me and let me know I'll send you some ideas. **


	8. The End of the Beginning

**Chapter 8: The end of the beginning**

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_Bella's POV_

As I fell to the floor I realized that something was wrong. There weren't any trees in my way. I had only just looked behind me. I slowly opened my eyes to look around but saw nothing. It seemed impossible. I had hit something, I knew it but there was nothing in my way now. Then I felt my body come of the floor. In the half a second it took me to figure out I was no longer on the ground, I found my self flying across the small meadow. I plunged to the floor quickly. I felt something break perhaps my leg, no my hip. I felt the pain almost immediately. It was agonizing. I tried to get up to move but the pain was too much. I heard a sound and looked up. Then I was _her_. How I had missed her red hair, I don't know. Victoria. She walked to me at a human pace. She was smiling the most evil abhorrent smile I had ever seen. As she moved closer her smile got wider. She stood next to me. I unsuccessfully tired to get away. She laughed at my attempt.

"You silly human, did you honestly believe you could get away from me?" she kicked me and I flew in to a tree. I felt a piercing pain in my back then I felt nothing. The pain in my hip was gone. I couldn't move my lower body. I laid there as the tears came forcefully out of my eyes. I knew at that moment I was going to die. I was going to die alone. No one would come to save me this time. No one could. I wanted to scream but just as I thought it she came up to me and placed her filthy cold bare foot on my jaw. She smiled viciously then pressed down violently and broke it. She spoke again in her unnaturally girly voice. "Well, this is turning out better then I could have hoped for. You are all alone. Your Edward who will surely die fighting off the army of newborns I sent his way. But I won't kill you, no you will live forever. You will live alone with out your mate for eternity. You will feel the pain of loneliness like no one else ever has." She grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off the ground. She took my arm and bit in to it. I let out a moan I was crying and couldn't stop. I couldn't scream or fight back all I could do was cry uncontrollably.

She pulled me close and bit in to my neck. I could feel my warm blood run down my neck. The smell of the blood hit me, as she threw me to the floor. I'm not sure if it was the smell of the blood or the hit on the head form the fall but I blacked out. I could still fell the burning pain radiating from my arm and neck. It slowly intensified as it moved through the rest of my body. How that was possible I don't know. I was in hell there was no other explanations. I was burning from the inside out. I was dead and the pain didn't stop. I heard screaming. Who or where they came from I couldn't tell.

I'm not sure how long after the burning pain started that I felt like I was floating in the air yet the pain only increased. The screams around me got louder. Then I realized they were mine and I stopped. I knew it would make no difference how long or how loud I screamed I would fore ever be in pain. After some time I started to hear a voice. I couldn't make out the word through the pain but I knew where they had come from, my Edward. I knew he was close to me. We must have been in hell together. The thought made the pain bearable. If he was with me in hell couldn't be that bad. If the pain and burning ever stopped we could spend an eternity in hell together and I wouldn't mind. But the pain and the burning got worse. I held back the urge to scream because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to hear him.

The time passed slowly as the pain increased but now I could no longer hear him. This made me sad. But no tears came, only pain. Pain from the burning, Pain because I couldn't hear him any longer, Pain that I would never see him again. I knew he shouldn't be in hell. They must have realized he didn't belong in here. They must have taken my angel to haven were he belongs. Slowly I felt the burning subside, until I no longer felt it. The pain was gone. I stayed motionless for a moment scared that the pain would return if I moved. When nothing happened. I slowly opened my eyes for the first time since I blacked out in the forest. It was dark yet I could see everything just like if had been bright out. I stared at the white wall in front of me, no it was a ceiling. I realized I was lying down. The moment I thought of sitting up, I did. There was no delay from conscious thought to my actions. I stood up and looked around. I was in a room. There wasn't much in here. There was a small desk by the door and a large sofa which I had been lying on. One of the walls was all glass. As I looked out I saw white as far as the eye could see. It looked like snow. This couldn't be hell unless hell had frozen over. I laughed at the thought. But the sound that came out of me was not what I expected. I turned to look at the room again when I was someone. She looked familiar to me, she had long brown hair and pale skin she was beautiful. But then I saw her eyes they were blood red. Just like the monster that kidnapped me and just like Victoria. I felt fear but instead of running away, which I knew was useless, I crouched down in defense and growled. The sound that came out of me scared me. The woman on the other side of the room was now crouching ready to attack but she looked sacred and kind of shocked. I heard a familiar musical laughter. I stood up and looked around.

"Did you scare yourself?" asked the small pixie like woman at the door. I was startled and I noticed the beautiful monster looked startled as well. "Bella really." The pixie was talking to me. She knew who I was. I looked at her then after a second I got a flash of a fuzzy memory. It was the pixie and me hugging and laughing together. Then I remembered.

"Alice." I yelled and before I even finished the thought I was running to her with arms open for a hug.

"Hey, Bella relax. You're going to make us fall over."

"Yeah Alice like I could possibly make you fall." She laughed again and shook her head.

"Really Bella I thought you were smart." I gave Alice a dirty look, how could she say that. I looked in her eyes and she looked in mine. Then every thing came flooding back. They had left me behind. I went looking for help. I had gotten my self kidnapped and Victoria turned me. I was a vampire. I looked back in to the room and realized I had scared myself I had been staring in to a mirror I was a vampire now. When I realized what I had done I laughed. "I'm glad you caught on" I smiled at her.

"Where is every one else?" I asked I wanted so bad to see every one. But mostly I wanted to see Edward. I wanted to know that he was okay. That Victoria's newborns hadn't gotten to him. She wasn't smiling anymore I was scared something bad had happened. "Is everyone okay? Did someone get hurt?" _Is Edward okay? Did he get hurt?_ Was what I really wanted to ask but couldn't.

"Everyone is fine. He's fine" she knew I was talking about Edward and I was grateful she did. "They are in Forks till tomorrow night." She still wasn't smiling something was wrong I knew it.

"Alice why are they in Forks? Why are we here and where is here? Something is wrong I can see it in your face." I was scared to here her answer. Alice was never this sad she was always happy. The only time I had ever seen her not dancing around a room was when we were running a way from James.

"We are in Northern Alaska. The rest of the family is in Forks because…" she paused thinking maybe. "Bella after you had been kidnapped I had a vision. It was of you and me shopping. We looked happy having fun. I thought everything was going to be fine. I thought we would get you back safely. I called Charlie, I thought that we may need a little more time. I knew he would be worried if you didn't call or didn't come home on time. I told him I had run in to you in Alaska. I asked if it was okay if you drove down with me so we could catch up and do some shopping. He agreed. Then we found you" she looked away "you were all broken and we realized you had been bitten. It was too late to stop it this time. We brought you here. We had little options after that. Carlisle thought it was the only choice we had. Since Charlie thought you were with me Carlisle told him you and I had gotten in to an accident. He told him the car had a defect and it blew up with us in it. I'm sorry Bella they are having a memorial for us tomorrow." I had nothing to say. I would have cried if I could have. My mother and father were mourning my death. Yet I stood her just fine, mostly. I felt like running home and tell them I was fine that it was a huge mistake. But I would scare them I didn't look the same anymore. Alice must have noticed my sadness. She hugged me. We stood there for a few minutes. I felt like a monster, how could I have done that to my family and my friends? I was a soulless selfish monster. I took a little while but I felt a burning in my throat that got worse as the time ticked by. I welcomed it. it distracted me from my thoughts. The more it burned the less my still heart hurt. I was thankful for it.

"Alice" I pulled away from the hug.

"Yes Bella?" she asked softly then smiled.

"My throat is burning." She took my hand.

"Yeah you need to hunt. Come on I'll take you."

**A/N-Please review. I love to hear what you think. **


	9. The Monster

**Chapter 9: The Monster**

* * *

How do you think I've lost so much  
I'm so afraid that I'm out of touch  
How do you expect... I will know what to do  
When all I know Is what you tell me to

Don't you know  
I can't tell you how to make it go  
No matter what I do, how hard I try  
I can't seem to convince myself why  
I'm stuck on the outside  
**By Myself By Linkin Park**

Alice and I where walking in a small wooded area. I was looking up at the dark starry sky. I had just finished my very first hunt as a vampire and although the animals weren't as tasty as I had hoped, I had enjoyed myself, somewhat. It had distracted me from the thoughts I was having after I woke up and I was grateful for that. We were approaching the house when Alice finally spoke.

"Bella I'm so glad your okay. I'm so, so very sorry I didn't see this coming. I don't know why I didn't see it. It's like they didn't make the decisions till the last minute like they knew how to get past my visions. Then the wolves got involved and the little I did see just disappeared. I'm so sorry Bella you have no idea how bad I feel for letting this happen."

"Alice please don't, you did everything you could. I'm fine, mostly anyways. I don't blame you for what happened. You shouldn't blame your self. If any one should be blamed it's me. Honestly in the end I got what I wanted, didn't I. I wanted to be like you and know I am. Things didn't happen exactly how I wanted them too but what's done is done. All we can do know is move on right." I took a deep breath and I smelled things I never noticed before and probably couldn't have as a human. I closed eyes and took another deep breath. I wanted to cry. All my sadness and sorrow I had felt before came flooding back to me. Alice must have notice the change in my face.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. I forced a smile.

"Yes, I was just getting used to all the new features that come with this new life. I can smell everything." She smiled back.

"I'll race you home." she said, I nodded and we took off. I followed the sent we had left behind on our way to hunt. I was glad for the momentary distraction but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stay distracted for long. We got to the house at the same time, we were laughing and we were having fun. We sat in the living room and started to talk. She told me what the others had been up to after they had left. She said the Jasper and her had been living in Canada as a young married couple. That she had her own house and they were having fun. She told me how Rosalie and Emmett had gotten married for the fiftieth time. She told me about how Esme was remodeling a new home in England. And that Carlisle was teaching some medical course at a college near the new house. Then she paused, I knew why she had. She was going to tell me about Edward and what he had been up to. If he had moved on it would hurt tremendously, if he had found something or someone to distract him it would hurt me. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I wasn't ready to talk about him I knew I would have to someday. Alice and the rest of the Cullens wouldn't let me live alone. They would let me be apart of their family and if I was then he would be their too. He was their first son.

"Thank you Alice." I said not wanting her to mention his name. "It's really nice to here what you guys have been up too. But I don't think I can handle any more information. I'm just not ready to talk about him, not yet." Alice nodded, She understood what I meant and I was glad. I knew he was okay and that's all I could handle to know at the moment. Then she pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Bella Jasper's going to call in a minute do you mind if I take the call out side it must be really heard for him to even pretend I got hurt." I nodded and she got up and left the house. Alice hadn't mentioned him on my request but I couldn't stop thinking of him. Would he come to see me? If he did would he stay now that I was like him? Was he with my family and friend mourning a loss? Was he consoling the people I love? Was he having a hard time like Jasper? Even though he knew we were fine was it hard to be there?

Then it hit me, why hadn't I thought of how my determination to be changed and find Edward would affect those who were close to me. Why had I been so selfish? How many people were crying right know because of what I did. I would never be able to hug my mother or father again. I couldn't tell them I love them and that I was fine. They wouldn't understand. They couldn't know. How could I have been so thought less so selfish? I felt like a soulless monster. It didn't bother me that I was a vampire and that I needed blood to survive. I knew that when I made the choice. I had come to terms with that along time ago. Yet I still became a monster. The monster he warned me about. How could he have been so wrong yet so right? I was sobbing but no tears came out. Some how the absence of tears made me sob even more.

Everything that had happened to me the few months, what I had become, the realization that I was a horrible soulless selfish monster; it all came crashing down on me. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I wanted to feel the tears run down my face but that would never happen. I wanted to hug my father and apologize for leaving him. I want to tell my mother I loved her one more time. I want to hear Jessica go on and on about Mike. I would even sit through Lauren's snide remarks and insults but I couldn't. I could never go back to them never have the chance. I would never get to even try.

I made my way to my new room and sat on the couch. I sat there staring at nothing, yet thinking of everything. The time passed but I took no notice of it. It no longer meant anything to me. The sun rise was no longer the start of a new but just another thing that happened around me. I heard voice outside but didn't care to hear them. I just wanted to curl up and die. I hated myself for what I had done. I withdrew into myself and blocked everything out except the same nagging thoughts that were relentlessly playing through my mind like a song on repeat.

"Bella" I heard his voice at the door. It had taken me out of my trans but I didn't answer "Bella" His musical angel voice called me again. I looked up at him but my body was on high alert and I was on the opposite side of the room from him. I didn't deserve him not any of him. I was never good enough for him and I was even less worthy of his attention now. I pulled my knees to my chest and looked up at him. He looked sad and confused.

"Leave me alone," I cried "please." I didn't deserve him or anyone else for that matter. I should live the rest of my existence alone. I was a soulless selfish monster. I didn't want his pity I didn't deserve it.

"Are you okay, what's wrong?" he walked towards me slowly, looking sad. I saw it in his eyes every time I chanced a look.

"Leave me alone, please. I don't deserve your sympathy." He was almost at me. "Please just leave me alone." He knelt down in front of me.

"Bella please tell me what's wrong. Alice said you were doing okay. Please love, tell me what's wrong."

"Please leave me Edward. I don't deserve this, you, the way you're treating me, any of it. I just want to curl up and die." The moment the words were out of my mouth he grabbed me in his arms and I was sitting on his lap. His arms were around me and I sobbed on to his shoulder.

"Don't say that, please Bella don't ever say that. You deserve better, no, more than any of that."

"No I don't I'm a monster, a selfish soulless monster. Look what I did to my family and friends. They're all hurting and in pain because I was too selfish to think of any one but myself. All I want is to run home and hold my parents and tell them I'm fine but I can't. I'll never be able to hug them or tell them I love them because the whole time I was planning and plotting I was just thinking of me. Of what I wanted and not once did I ever stop to think how this would affect those I love." He held me close while I ranted and sobbed. He took in all my problems and just sat with me. We said nothing for a few minutes.

"Bella we all have a right to be selfish once in a while. I can't imagine how you feel and I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening. You deserve better, you deserve so much more then this life." He held me close and his strong arms were comforting.

_**Edward's**_ _**POV**_

I was glad when the memorial for Bella and Alice was over. It was hard to mourn for two people when you know that they are fine. Even with Jasper's help I couldn't find the proper emotions. I was sad for the people around me that truly had lost some one. I knew that they would never be able to have Bella back. It mad me angry that some one had hurt Bella and that I could do nothing to help. Yet I was happy I knew that Bella would be okay. I knew that once the pain stopped I would do everything in my power to make up for leaving even if it took eternity which we know had together. But mostly I was anxious to hold Bella to kiss her to make sure she was okay to start eternity with each other. I wanted to be there for her as she adjusted to her new life. I was approaching the house where Alice and Bella had been staying. _Edward _Alice thought to me. _You should have told some one you were leaving. I've had __them all calling to see if you were coming here or not. I'm glad you're here though Bella really needs you right now._ I saw the house and Alice sitting on the porch of the blue house.

"Hi Alice, What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

"I'm not sure. When she woke up she kind of scared her self but she was happy. I took her hunting then after we raced home we talked about what we all had been doing. Well I talked she listened. Then I got a call from Jasper so I left her in the living room when I got back she was curled up on the couch in her room. She hasn't moved at all. She's been there since last night. I haven't bothered her but I think some one should talk to her." _I think she might be upset about us leaving. She wouldn't even let me say your name._

"Thank you Alice I'll go check on her." I walked in to the house and went towards Bella's room. I saw her curled up on the couch just like Alice had said. She looked like she would have been crying a river if she could have. I stood at the door and called her name.

"Bella" she made no movement or sign of hearing me. "Bella" I called again as soon as I said her name her head snapped to look at me. Then she was on the other end of the room curled up on the floor with her knees tucked in to her chest.

"Leave me alone, please." I walked to her slowly trying to look at her eyes. Was she still mad at me? Did she blame me for what had happened? I wouldn't blame her if she did. It was my fault for leaving her.

"Are you okay, what's wrong?" she looked away and sobbed a little more.

"Leave me alone, please. I don't deserve your sympathy. Please just leave me alone." I knelt down in front of her trying to look in her eyes still. She looked so sad, so tortured, grieving maybe. I felt desperate to console her. I wanted to make her happy to see her smile.

"Bella please tell me what's wrong. Alice said you were doing okay. Please love, tell me what's wrong." He looked up at me.

"Please leave me Edward. I don't deserve this, you, the way you're treating me, any of it. I just want to curl up and die." The moment she said the words I grabbed her in to my arms I was glad when she didn't pull away from me. She put her head on my shoulder. I didn't want her to think like this. I didn't want her to consider this. I couldn't and wouldn't let her go.

"Don't say that, please Bella don't ever say that. You deserve better, no, more than any of that." More then me I thought. She deserves better. I had left her and hurt her and know she wanted to die because I wasn't there to stop this.

"No I don't I'm a monster, a selfish soulless monster." Those words hit me hard. I've thought those words of myself, many times for decades. Now my Bella was thinking them of her self. But she's wrong she's not a monster. "Look what I did to my family and friends. They're all hurting and in pain because I was too selfish to think of any one but myself. All I want is to run home and hold my parents and tell them I'm fine but I can't. I'll never be able to hug them or tell them I love them because the whole time I was planning and plotting I was just thinking of me. Of what I wanted and not once did I ever stop to think how this would affect those I love." I held her tight as she spoke. How could I say anything to comfort her? I had no idea how she felt. I couldn't understand but I wanted to comfort her and make her feel better. I wanted all her bad feelings to go away. I could tell her she wasn't a monster but she wouldn't believe me. Nearly the whole time I've known her I've told her that I thought myself a monster. But Bella, My Bella, My angel was not a monster. She was one of the most selfless people I have ever met. How she always put others feelings before her own, she cares for other so much and still does. She is not a monster.

"Bella we all have a right to be selfish once in a while. I can't imagine how you feel and I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening. You deserve better, you deserve so much more then this life." I held her close to me. I wanted very much to tell her that if it wasn't for the fact that she was feeling sad and guilty, If she didn't feel so horrible. I would tell her I was happy. I was happy to hold her happy knowing I had eternity to make her happy. But she wasn't and it was my fault.


	10. I am leaving

**Chapter 10: I am leaving**

* * *

_Who knows what true loneliness is—not the conventional word, but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion. Now and then, a fatal conjunction of events may lift the veil for an instant. For an instant only, No human being could bear a steady view of moral solitude without going mad._

_**Joseph Conrad (1857–1924)**_

It has been too long. I do not know how much longer I can take being so close to her and yet so far. Every day that passes, I yearn to hold her, to make her happy I want her with me. Yet she is so distant we barely spend any time in the same room, let alone holding each other as I feel we should. I take some comfort in that she has been letting me hunt with her more often, she still does not talk much but I will take what I can get.

When she is not alone in her room then she is sitting with Alice or Emmett in front of the TV. That was until Alice and Bella got in to an argument. Bella was holding her own against her, which is difficult being as Alice knows what you are going to say before you say it. It was not until Rosalie stepped in and took Alice's side telling Bella to stop being so stubborn and go back to being the old Bella. That really caught her off guard and Bella lost her argument.

Two day later, while Bella was out hunting, Alice had come to me and told me that they are all leaving. They thought that if they gave her space it might help her heal. She also thought Bella and I could have some time alone and try to reconnect. When Bella got back from her hunt, not only was she surprised but also she was angry. I didn't have to read her mind to know what she was thinking, I saw it on her face. She thought they had left because she had pushed them away.

We spent even less time alone after that. She would spend her time in her room reading or she would go hunting. No matter what I tried she just closed her self off form every one. I was getting depressed by the second. I wanted to be with her so badly and she seemed to want nothing to do with me. I thought it might have had something to do with me leaving her in the past but when I brought that up she had a huge tantrum and said that not everything was about me. I still thought it had something to do with that but I didn't bring it up again. Almost two months after that, I had a talk with Carlisle while Bella was out hunting. I had asked his opinion on what I should do about Bella and the situation at hand. He told me to give her time and space that when she was ready she would come to me but I had to think about it I did not want to leave, her not again. When she had come home from hunting, I stopped her and tried to talk to her.

"Bella you have to stop this you can't keep doing this alone" she looked at me with a surprised look on her face.

"Edward you go hunting alone all the time besides that, there aren't many human that come up this far north. I think I have showed enough control in my thirst in not attacking the few brave enough to venture this way. Give me some credit Edward I know I'm a monster but…"

"Bella stop it I don't care if you hunt alone. Yes, I would prefer if we went together but I trust your control. What I am referring to is this self-loathing. I cannot stand it anymore. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I hate that you think yourself a monster," she growled at me.

"Hypocrite" she said under her breath. We looked at each other for a moment. I was angry that she would think that of herself I only thought that way because I was, I had killed human willing I sought them out and killed them and enjoyed it. I probably would have continued if it had not been for the guilt.

"Edward you have no right to tell me that I shouldn't think myself a monster. When god knows how many times you told me you thought the same of yourself and how many times did I have to tell you that you were not. You may have stopped saying it Edward but I know you never stopped believing it. My reasons for thinking I am a monster are different from yours. You have no idea how I feel and you have no right to judge me." She was right I had no idea how felt, but I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything that went through her mind I wanted to help her. It was infuriating not be able to help her not to be able to make her happy but she wouldn't let me in and I couldn't just sit by as she continued to hate herself more and more each day.

"Then tell me. Tell me so I can help. I want to help you get through this. I cannot stand by and watch you get worse with each day that passes. I can't stand it anymore. I want to be with you Bella I love you so much. I don't want you to hurt anymore. I want to spend eternity with you and I will but I need you to let me help you."

"Edward Please I'm not ready for this. I've hurt too many people being selfish. I am not sure I will be what you want or what you need. I am not the same girl you fell in love with and what if I never get over this what if this I as good as it get."

"Then let me help you Bella. I know it hurts you that you can't be with your family and I know you blame yourself for their pain and loss that they feel but you didn't do it intentionally."

"But It's still my fault don't you get it. I never stopped to think of anyone. Not once did they come in to my mind when I was planning. It was not until Alice told me that they were having a funeral for us did I start to think about them. You don't understand you can't your parent were already gone when you were turned. You were alone. Me, I had me parent who would do anything for me. Nevertheless, all I thought of was stopping my pain. I felt like all I wanted was not to have to dream any more of those horrible dreams of you leaving me. I was selfish and I hurt those I love and loved me. I can see it in your eye I am a monster you were right I do not deserve you. I am no good for you. You deserve better than this, better than I can give you. I love you Edward but you need someone whole, someone that's like an angel not a monster like me. You deserve the world not some broken vampire girl." I moved towards her and grabbed her face

"Bella I don't want anyone else." I told her but she pushed me away.

"Edward, stop it. You do not want me I do not deserve you and I do not think I ever will. I want you to be happy and that mean you need to find someone else. I'm not sure I can make you happy not the way you deserve." She turned and ran away. I stood there not sure how to handle this. I wanted to follow her but that would solve nothing. She was angry and she was down on herself. I gave her the time and space she needed. She was gone for almost the whole day I decide to follow her sent and saw her setting in the snow staring at the sky. I went back to the house to think. I called Carlisle and told him what happened. He told me to give her time and if needed more space. He told me not to force anything. He offered me a room in the new house in London that Esme was fixing up. I told him I would consider it.

When Bella came home, she came to me and apologized for how she behaved. However, she told me she meant what she said about me finding someone new to make me happy. We continued to live together but I found it hard. Slowly we started to talk but only immaterial things, never anything important. We would hunt together sometime. Yet everything seemed to be the same I was not sure how much of it I could take. I love her more than anything in the world but I need her to be okay and if that meant I had to leave, then I would. I decided that I would go to London and if she wanted me, she would follow. I hoped anyways. It took me a week after making the decision to tell her I would leave. I had told Carlisle to expect me.

I went to her room and paused before knocking. She let me in and went to sit at her desk. I walked to the other side of the room. She looked at me and I looked back at her. It took me a minute to actually say the word that I had practice repeatedly in my head.

"I'm leaving." It came out rushed and not at all, what I had wanted. She looked confused.

"But we just went hunting three day ago. You cannot be thirsty already."

"No Bella I mean I'm leaving, I'm going to London. Carlisle has bought a house that Esme has been remodeling. I'm leaving tomorrow." she stood up and looked surprised and sad.

"W-when are you coming back?" she asked me. I turned away I did not want her to see the pain in my face.

"I'm not sure if I am." I would if she wanted me to. If she needed me, I would be back in instant. However, the next word out of her mouth shocked me.

"Don't leave me again." She said. I turned to look at her. Her hand shot to her mouth. I looked in her eye she was just as shocked as I was by the word she had just spoken. "Sorry" she continued "I- I shouldn't have said that. I just… "She paused.

"What Bella, you just what?" What was she thinking? What I would not give to hear her thought at that very moment.

"I-I just thought that things were getting better. I know that things are not the way they used t be but I-I am happy most of the time, when we talk about book and music, when we go hunting together. I thought you were enjoying it too." I looked in her eye. I had not noticed that the time we spent together made her happy. I was making her happy. How hadn't I noticed it? "Sorry I shouldn't be saying these things I told you to move on. If you want to leave, you should. I have no right to tell you otherwise Forget I said anything. I'm sorry." she turned away from me looking to look at her desk. I walked up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. I couldn't help but be happy she didn't want me to leave. She wanted me to stay with her, yet she didn't want to ask me to stay.

"I don't want to leave Love," I said softly in to her ear. "I never wanted to I just thought that you need time and space. I won't leave you again, if you want me to stay I will. Just say the word Isabella and I'll stay. I'll stay with you for eternity all you have to do is ask." she turned slowly and looked up at me but said nothing. I could see she was thinking but she just stared at me.

**Bella's POV**

_All you have to do is ask _the words kept running through my head. I looked in his eyes. Could I say it, could I tell him to stay? I didn't want him to leave me. I didn't want to be alone but was that it, the fear of being alone or was there something more. I wasn't sure if I was ready for something but could I let him go? Just the thought made me want to cry I hadn't realized how hard it would be if he left. Although I told him to leave to find someone new, it felt just as heart wrenching as when he left me last year. Could I do that? Could I live without him? No I tried and look what I did if he left again even if it was my doing this time I would be just a big of a mess as I was before. What would I do if he weren't here?

"Stay" I whispered I saw a smile on his face as I said it he kissed my forehead and gave me a hug. I hugged him back. I felt good it felt right and I felt happy. I didn't want to lose him again, I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. I just had to put my bad thoughts and feelings aside and try to be happy and try to make him happy. "Stay" I said louder. He pulled me close and pressed his lips on mine. I kissed him back it was the mot passionate kiss we had ever had. My hand made it to his hair. I expected him to pull away as he always did but to my delight, he pulled me in closer. He held me close with his arms around my waist. Then his lips pulled away from mine yet held me tighter. He looked in to my eyes and I smiled at him.

"God Bella I love you," he said then pressed his lips on mine softly.

xXB&EXx

I knew that I wasn't the same girl any more but I wanted to be. When Edward had told me that he was leaving it seemed to bring me to reality. I didn't know how to survive with out him and I had taken for granted having him so close by and willing to put up with my emo attitude. We slowly tried to get back to having a normal loving relationship. We both knew that we needed to work on things and we did that together. We started talking more. We told each other what we were feeling and what we wanted form ourselves and each other. It wasn't easy but we worked at it and after a few months we were in a healthy relationship. It also helped that I wasn't breakable anymore. We were able to explore our relationship like we were never able to before. We didn't go all the way, although I really wanted to. Edward had asked me to wait. He wanted it to be special. I had an idea of what he thought was special.

I was sitting in my room when I heard the door open. I knew it was Edward, not only were we the only two living in the house but I could smell him a mile away. I heard him sit next to me on the chase. I continued to read as if he wasn't there. I was getting to the good part and wanted to finish reading it.

"Bella?" Edward spoke. I held up a finger to shush him while I read the last few words on the page.

"Yes Edward?" I said smiling at him when I looked up from my book.

"Esme called this morning. She says the house in London is done and she waned the whole family there soon. She doesn't like having her children scattered around the globe. She asked when we were headed over." I stiffened I couldn't travel to the London right now. My eyes had just started to change and had an burnt orange color. And I hadn't really been around humans since I was one. I couldn't do this and I couldn't let Edward stay away from his family because of me. I looked over at Edward and he saw the look on my face.

"Tell my what you're thinking Bella." he asked while pulling me in to his arms.

"I can't go Edward. I'm not ready to be around humans. I don't trust my self and my eyes haven't fully changed yet. I can't, sorry, I can't go just yet. You go. You go and spend time with your family."

"There are a few things you have said that are very wrong. First your eyes you can ware contacts or just have on sunglasses. Second they are our family but mostly you are my family. So no I won't go any where with out you. Remember the last time I left or even the last time I tried to leave. It won't ever happen again. And lastly, I trust you and your control. I believe that you could get on any plane right now and you would be fine, a little uncomfortable, but fine. Besides we do have a privet jet we can take and that eliminates a cabin full of humans. It would just be us and the pilots. I told Esme that it might take us a few weeks before we can go and I hope that we can but if you still feel unsure then _we_ will wait till you feel ready. She will understand my love, I promise." I looked at him he always knew just how to make me feel better. I leaned in to kiss him. Our kiss started soft and sweet. Before I knew what happened I was on his lap and the kiss was intense. Are hands were all over each other. I started to take off his shirt when he pulled away.

"Bella, not yet please." he said with his eyes closed. I got off his lap and left the room. It wasn't the first time that that had happened. It actually happened quiet frequently but I still felt dejected and hurt. I never told Edward because I knew why he wanted to wait and I admired him for it but that didn't mean that I doesn't mean my feelings don't get hurt. I decided to take a walk and clear my head. I didn't want to have doubts about my relationship with Edward and if I kept on the way I was then I would. I'm not sure how long I was out but when I got back I found Edward sitting on the porch waiting for me.

"Bella I'm sorry it's just..."

"No Edward, its okay I understand. You want to wait I get it. I just to deal with it. One day maybe, who knows, I just..."

"What Bella, You what?"

"I understand why you want to wait till we do _that_ but every time we get to the point where you feel we have to stop I feel a little dejected. I know you don't mean to hurt my feeling but sometimes I can't help, sorry." He pulled me in to his arms.

"Bella I'm sorry I make you feel that way. I don't mean to."

"I know Edward, really I do. Its just that sometimes I feel like that's as far as we will ever get and it makes me sad that's all but I don't want you to feel bad about it. Its just me being stupid."

"Bella nothing you feel is stupid my love and just so you know that it will happen as soon as your my wife it will happen and if you want we could spent the next hundred years doing just that." I smiled at him and he gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.


	11. Yes? or No?

**Chapter 11: Yes or No?**

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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give - which is everything. - Source Unknown

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. - Anonymous

**Bella's POV**

The time passed and Edward and I just got closer. We spent our time getting to know each other again as best we could. I continued to push his boundaries and had almost gotten all the way to third base but still, he found the will to stop before it got too far. I had become more frustrated than I had ever been and I could tell that Edward was starting to get angry at me for pushing so hard when I knew where he stood on the matter. I didn't want him to be mad at me but my body kept telling me that it wanted more and he kept telling tough shit. I was currently waiting for him to return from his hunt. We had been doing this together but I found it highly erotic to watch him hunt and tended to pounce him and try to get in his pants. I thought I would give him some space and time to think with having to worry about me. Also I needed time to think. Edward had on a few occasions hinted about us getting married. Now I know that I will spend eternity with him but when ever the topic of marriage come up I get slightly distant from him. Its not that I don't want to, its just I feel like why ruin what we already have. Do we really need to stand around a bunch of people I don't know say we love each other and sign a paper. Why can it just be him and I sitting in each others arms devoting ourselves to each other for the rest of time. And if need be, we can have our family stand with us. The thing is that I know that if we did get married then Alice would take over and the entire vampire population would be gathered in one area watching Edward and I get married. That alone scares me add the shopping, the dressing up, the make up, and all the other things that go with having a wedding and I would be in hell. I knew I was being stupid somewhat but these were really fears for me not matter how silly they may seem to every one else. At the same time I fear that if I don't go through with it then I might lose the best thing that ever happen to me.

I was taken out of my train of thought when I heard Edward running towards the house. I looked out side my window and saw him stop just out side the house. He pulled out his phone and began to talk to whom ever was on the phone. He was talking low so I barely made out anything he was saying. After a few moments he put his phone a way and came in to the house. I sat down quickly and grabbed a book and began to read. It took him twenty minutes to come in to my room. I wasn't sure what he had been up to but I heard him waling around looking for something. When he finally came in to my room he was quiet and sat down on the floor in front of me and picked up a book of his own. We sat there quietly reading for a while when I couldn't take it any more.

"Are you okay?" I asked while I put my book down.

"Yeah I'm fine."he said an a very monotone voice. I knew something was up.

"Edward I know somethings bothering you, please just tell me. I mean I know I've been pushy with the whole sex thing but I can stop that. I'll do what ever you want."

"Except marry me" he mumbled.

"What?"

"You'll do anything I want except marry me."

"When did I say I didn't want to marry you?"

"Every time I bring it up you make some lame attempt to change the subject or you just out right throw your self at me to try to distract me."

"You're right but its not because I don't want to marry you."

"Then why?"

"Because I don't want a huge to-do of a wedding. I don't want a bunch of people I don't know gathered around watching say I do but that is exactly what will happen if we deiced to get married. Alice will take over and make this big production that I don't want. If it was up to me, you and I, would sit right here and declare our love for each other. We would tell each other how we feel about each other and why we want to spend eternity together. We would exchange some type of token as a symbol of the love we share and the pledge we made. Then we would make love to seal the deal. That is what I want but you know as well as I do, that won't happen. I love Alice but she won't take no for an answer and she'll make us have a huge wedding."

"You're right and if I'm being honest I kind of like your idea." he paused for a moment. "Bella, I can't promise that Alice won't try to make us have a big wedding and I can't promise that if she does it will be small but I can promise that if you marry we can do it right here right now. Any thing after is just for everyone else but for you and me it will be just the two of us. What do you say Bella will you marry me?" I looked at him while he declared himself to me. I was rendered speechless. If I could cry I would have been. "Bella I love you," he said pressing his lips on mine softly. "Please marry me Bella" I looked at him. He's serious? He just ask me to marry him? He must have noticed my shock because he laughed to himself lightly. "Bella I want to spend eternity with you. I never want to be away from you again. I want to do this right." He dashed out of the room and was back in a second. He knelled in front of me "Isabella Marie Swan you are my world. I can't and won't live without you. I have tried and I know I can't. I want to spend eternity with you. I want you to be my wife. Bella please say you will marry me." He handed me the ring I looked at it for a few minute I could not say anything I was in shocked I loved him I knew it. I wanted to be with him forever but I never thought of getting married yet I felt the excitement of the moment. Yes, I thought to myself and I knew I meant it but why couldn't I say it aloud. Then I heard my phone rang I knew it was Alice she had seen his decision to ask and mine to say yes. I took the phone off the desk without looking away from the ring.

"Hello Alice" Edward looked scared and confused I tried not to laugh or smile.

"Bella please, please, please let me be your wedding planner?" she asked me. I knew if I said yes she would go crazy but the promise of Edward and I having our own day that was just about the two of us made Alice planning a party or a wedding not so scary. It was then that I decided I would let Alice plan a small wedding. I knew I was crazy for doing it but she would be angry with me for a very long time if I didn't let her do something and an eternity is a long time to have Alice mad at me. I looked at Edward I knew he could hear everything Alice said. He looked at me anxiously. He was waiting for my answer to his question and he knew that if I answered Alice he would get his answer. I wanted to laugh and jump for joy but I wanted tease him a little too.

"Alice I think you know the answer to that." I said in a very serious voice. She took a second to answer she probably was looking for the answer. Edward was starting to look angry and frustrated.

"Oh Bella you're not going to regret this I promise you will have the best wedding ever." This time I could not help but laugh. Edward's eye open and a slow smile grew on his face. He was happy and surprised. He stood up, pulled me close, and kissed me. He took the phone out of my hand and tossed it on my desk.

**One Month Later...**

Edward and I decided that before we went to London we would have our own special day. We wanted to share our love for each other with just the two of us. First we would share our love to one another with words, then we would pledge our eternal love for each other and then finally we would bind

it all together by showing each other our love physically. I had spent the last few weeks trying to find the right words that would tell Edward how I felt for him and although I didn't think that they were enough to truly express my love I thought they got the point across as best I could. Now we were hunting. We had decided that we would do it separately. Like with really weddings you can't see the bride till she's walking down the aisle. I now how important getting married is to Edward and how much he's compromising to do things my way so I've tried to do a few this traditionally. First is the separate hunting trips. Second I'm waring a white dress and while its not a wedding dress in the traditional way it is more of my personality. Third I've transformed my room so that it looks romantic and loving. I've placed candles and flowers all over the room. I've place two large white pillows in the center of the rooms where we will sit and I've put a radio so that are favorite classical and love songs are playing in the back ground.

After my hunt I cleaned up and got dressed then attempted to make my hair look good. I wore no make up because Edward had told me once he thought I look beautiful with out it on. I grabbed the ring I had bought for Edward and went to sit in my room on the pillows after I turned on the candles. I heard Edward enter the house and walk to his room. As I heard his shower start I started to feel my nerves getting the better of me. I turned the music on and tried to relax. Just as my lullaby came on I heard Edward' s foot steps heading towards my room. I stood up and waited for him. He came in and looked me in the eyes. We both smiled at each other. He looked handsome in black slacks and a charcoal gray button down shirt. He had no tie on and had the first few buttons undone. And just like me he was bare foot. He took in my appearance and and came towards me.

"You look breathtaking my love." He said as he took my hands in his.

"You look really handsome tonight as well." we stood there for a moment just looking in to each others eyes. "Lets sit" I suggested. I to a deep breath to steady my nerves and started. " When I first sat down to write down my feelings for you and how I felt about us I thought it would be the easiest thing I would ever do. But I was wrong I found it hard to find the right words to describe how I feel about you. It wasn't because I don't love you it was because I love you so much that none of the words I found were enough.

"When I couldn't think of the right words I went back ant thought of all that we had been through. I realized that I would never find the right words to tell you all that you mean to me. There are a lot of things I don't remember from my human life but I remember you and I remember anything that has to do with you. A few months ago when the Denali coven came to visit, Eleazar said that I was a shield he said that I could probably expand that shield if I tried hard enough. I don't know if this will work but I'm going to try." I place my hands on either side of his head and place my forehead on his. I closed my eyes and focused all of my energy on opening up my mind to him. I showed the first time I saw him and the first time we talked. I showed him how I felt when he saved me from the van and from those guys in the ally. I showed him how I felt when he took me to his meadow and when he first kissed me. I showed him how I felt when he laid beside me as I slept. I showed he all the love I felt for him. I showed him how I felt when he was gone. I showed him how I felt when he found me and saved me from Riley. I showed him How I felt to have him back in my arms after the change. I showed him how I felt when I thought he would leave again. I showed him how I felt when he asked me to be his wife and I showed him how I was feeling at that very moment. When I was done I pulled away and looked at him. I saw the look on his face and new that it had worked.

"Know you know I I truly feel about you. I had you then lost then got you back. I know that losing you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but if hadn't I would know how much I truly need you with me. I always knew I loved you but when I got you back I knew it was so much more than just love. It is an all consuming need to be near you. Its as if you are a part of me and with out you I can't function. I need you to move forward with my life. I promise to you my heart, my body, my mind, and my soul. I give you every part of me for as long as time goes on." I finished and just looked at him. It took a minute for him to take it all in before he spoke.

"I had this speech prepared in my head. I was going to tell you how much I love and need you, how I know for a fact that living with out you is worse than dieing but after seeing how you felt, how you feel. I know that you already know because all the feelings I saw were the same as mine. I thought that because I was different that I was able to love you more but I see that even when you were you human you felt the same way. I've lived over a hundred years and never have I seen in others what we feel for each other. It always seems that one person loves the other a little bit more. I've seen it even in our family. They love each other yes but in each couple one of them wants something a little more giving less of them selves to the other. I thought that when you were human you wanted to be a vampire more than you wanted me. Then right after you were turned I thought that you wanted to be human more than you wanted me but I see know that it wasn't want to be something it was wanting to be with some one. I never thought I would be possible for you to love me this much and I can't tell you how happy I am that you were able to show me. I wish I could show you how I feel so that you can be a certain as I am.

"I love you Isabella, I love you so much it hurts. I want to spend the rest of time showing you just how much I love you. I promise to always put you first and think of what you want not just want you need. I promise to always be there for you as long as you will let me. I promise you myself, my heart my body my mind, and my soul. Yes I said soul. I'm still not a hundred percent sure if I have one but your are making me see that just maybe we do." he leaned in and kissed me he kissed soundly. He pulled away for a moment as we exchanges rings. Then he kissed me again. This time the kissing didn't stop. As we continued to kiss are activities became more needy before I knew it we were laying on the floor with no close between us. Then we finally made love and it was the best night of my life thus far.

**Three months later…**

Edward's POV

"I told you I just want it to be us. Just the Family maybe a friend or TWO but that is it." I heard Bella saying for the hundredth time, this morning alone. I walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She looked at me and mouthed help. I could not help but laugh.

"Bella you told me I can plan your wedding. You cannot give me so many limitations." Alice said on the other end of the phone. Bella growled in to the phone. I could not help but laugh even more, which seemed to anger Bella some more but it was too entertaining.

"Alice that is the only limitation I've given you. Even before, you sent me the guest list of like a hundred people. Really I don't even know anyone on the list besides you guys."

"Bella don't you trust me?"

"NO!" Bella shouted very irritated

"Well I see I'm not getting anywhere with you. Really, I will talk to you when you are not so crabby. Good bye." Alice hung up and Bella looked at me.

"Stop laughing Edward this is not funny in the least."

"Sorry but it's quite funny love. You knew exactly how Alice was before agreeing to this. She has no control and never has, at least when it comes to these kinds of things."

"Well then that leaves us three options." Times like this make me crazy that I cannot read her mind.

"And what would those options be?"

"Well one we tie her up and hide her some place really far way so she can't get anywhere near the wedding." she smiled wickedly toward me. Very tempting thought but I do not feel like dealing with Jasper. He is to protective of Alice.

"Well while that does sound very appealing, Jasper would kill us both if we tried that. What's option two?"

"Option two you won't like. It is as simply as not having a wedding, just not doing the wedding period." WHAT? My eyes meet hers for a moment.

"You see here Mrs. Masen, you will marry me in front of our family and there is no getting out of it. I do not care if Alice invite the whole world and make you ride in on an elephant with a too-too on. You will be my wife and that Is that." I kissed her and smiled. After the other night when we declared our love for each other I had called her Mrs. Cullen but she told me that although the world may call her a Cullen, to me and her she was a Masen. I was the happiest man in the world time ten that night.

"Well I guess that just leave option three." I heard her say.

"And what is option three?"

"I let Alice do what she wants and try not to complain too much. It is not as if I could actually stop her any ways."

"Option three it is." The phone rang that moment. "It's Alice"

"I know don't answer I really don't want to hear her gloat and she might be angry." I looked at her confused. "I honestly considered tying her up somewhere." I laughed and put the phone down it stopped ringing immediately.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update my mind has been playing tricks on me. (I keep getting new ideas for stories and if I don't write them down the won't leave.) I know I shouldn't but I have been working on a couple while trying to write the ones I already have. But I don't want to post them until I have most of them done and the stories I have out already are going strong. **

**Thank you for reading let me know what you think if you aren't mad at me for making you wait.**


	12. The Wedding

**Chapter 12: The Wedding **

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**One Month later…**

**Bella's POV**

Three days, Three days and I will be flying off to London to have the big wedding _Alice_ Wants. Okay, honestly I'm a little excited about it even though I would never admit out loud. I plan to put up a fight the whole way through this wedding because I know that Alice is going to do what she wants any ways, but I am so happy I don't care what she does. I never thought that I would be so excited about getting married. Not to mention I have no idea what waiting for me in London.

"Ready love" I jumped, I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of having this wedding to hear him come in the room. He found this very entertaining being as it keeps happening more and more often the closer to the wedding we get.

"Nearly, I just can't figure out what I should take. I've never been to London before so I'm not really sure what I should take."

"Well I would be exceedingly happy if you had nothing on."

"Edward Cullen keep you mind out of the gutter. At least until we get to London, then you can do whatever you want." I smiled at him and he kissed me.

"Well I don't think it matters what you take Alice will just throw it out and get you all new things if she hasn't already gotten you a new wardrobe." He was right I go leave everything here and know that I would have my closet full of new thing once I got to England.

"You know we give Alice way too much freedom with our wardrobe."

"Yes, Love but would you rather have that or have to hear Alice complain about every one lack of style? Beside this is what Alice lives for." I nodded I knew he was right there was no point in fighting it Alice always got what she wanted.

We finished getting our things and left for the airport. My eye were not completely butterscotch like the other. They still had an orange tint to them so I wore sunglasses just in case which made me look ridicules since it was the middle of the night. We flew first class to London, which was too long for me. I had good control around human. However, being trapped in an enclosed area for so many hours was beginning to feel distressing. I was lucky to have Edward with me every time I would smell someone who tempted me he was there to help. We made it to London without incident. Everyone was there to greet us. We all caught up quickly once we got to the house and then it was off to work on the wedding. Alice had jobs fore every one to do. We spent the next two days getting ready for the wedding. I was more nervous than I had ever been in my how life. This was going to be one spectacular wedding.

I was sitting in the chair as Alice went, well, all out Alice about getting me ready for tonight. I was slowly but surely starting to get nervous. Three hours and twenty minutes left until I marry the love of my life. She started with my hair. She twisted, twirled, curled, braided and straightened my hair. By the time, she finished half my hair was up in a twist with the back flowing down my back. I had to say that that Alice truly out did herself it looked beautiful. As soon as she was satisfied with my reaction, she started on my makeup. That took longer than thought possible but it kept my mind off the time. When she was done, I glanced at the clock on the wall. Forty-five minutes left. If I could have cried, I would have. I started to think of my dad and mom and how they should be here with me helping me. How my dad should be walking me down the aisle. Then I realized that I had no one to walk me down the aisle. It took a few minutes but I knew who would be a good replacement for my own father.

"Alice?"

"He is on his way up here now." She smiled at me.

"Thank you." I sat there looking at the dust flying in the air when I heard the door open behind me.

"Alice said you needed to talk to me," Carlisle said once in the room.

"Yes I wanted to ask you if would do me the honor of walking me down the aisle." He smiled widely at me then leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"I would be happy to." He held out his hand to me I took it and stood up. "Let's get going you only have five Minutes before you should be down stairs." I nodded and with that, we walked down. We stopped at the top of the stairs he looked at me "ready?" he asked and I nodded. We walked at a human pace down the stair. I looked around and saw our guests but my eyes were looking for someone else. Then I saw him, our eyes met and locked in to each other. He looked gorgeous, no, more than that. There were no words in the world that could describe how he looked. He was in a black tuxedo with an emerald green tie. His hair was as it always is. Before I knew it I was standing in front of Edward looking in to his beautiful eyes. He had the biggest mile on his face, which I believe mirrored mine. The minister began the ceremony I barely heard any of it while looking in to Edward's eyes at least not until I heard him speak his vows.

"I Edward Anthony Masen Cullen take you Isabella Marie Swan to be my wife, my love, my life. You mean more to me then life it self. Before you I knew nothing of love I thought I did not need it. Then you came in to my life and turned it on its side. You were the only thing that was important to me. I know now that I could not live without you. I have tried and failed and I am glad. I will spend eternity making up for any hurt I have caused, just to feel like I deserve you. I will love you for eternity and then some." If I could have had tear running down my face I would have. He placed the ring on my hand and kissed it.

"I Isabella Marie Swan take you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to be my husband, my love, my life. My life was empty before you came in to it. I was taken by surprise at how much I could love so absolutely. I would die for you I will live for you I would do anything for you. From now until the end of time, I will love you and cherish every second I get to be your wife." I placed the ring on his finger.

"I know pronounce you Husband and wife you may kiss the bride," and so he did. As soon as we were done he lifted me up in to his arm and carried me out in to the back yard were the reception would be. He gently placed me on the floor and cupped my face in his hands.

"Mrs. Cullen" he aid softly

"Yes Mr. Cullen, dear" I replied

"I love you my beautiful wife." I loved it, calling me his wife. I was ecstatic.

"And I love you my wonderful husband." He leaned in and kissed me. However, it ended too soon as our family and friends came out to celebrate. I was introduced to everyone I did not know and made some knew friends quickly. Then Edward and I went to the dance floor to have our first dance as husband and wife. Half way through our second dance, other couple joined in and not soon after the party was in full swing. I danced with Carlisle then Jasper and Emmett. Everything was perfect and I was finally truly happy. I saw Alice with a mic in hand getting every once attention.

"Every one please settle down I am going to have to ask everyone to leave as quickly and as quietly as possible. I don't have time to explain please just…" but she was cut off before she could finish.

"No need to leave on our account." I turned to the source of the voice and I saw four people in long black cloaks approaching us rather slowly. I turned to Edward standing beside me. He held me close to him. I noticed that behind us were more people in black cloaks that had approached us. All too soon, they surrounding us. There seemed to be more of them then us. I looked at my Edward and saw the fear in his eyes. Something bad was about to happen and I could do nothing to stop it. All our guests were crouched and ready to attack. My family stood by us ready to fight.

"Edward what is going on?" I asked in a slight panic.

"They came to fight. They thought we came together to take over the Voultri. They came to eliminate any threat." I took a deep unneeded breath. We were going to die and I could do nothing. I didn't know how to fight, I would surely die if I tried, and in turn, Edward would die trying to defend me. I felt lost and defenseless.

**A/N: I hope you like it. When I originally wrote this story there was only 13 chapters but I think I might add an extra one or two depending on how it goes. Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading and have w wonderful day. :)**


	13. The Fight

**Chapter 13: The Fight**

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We were surrounded by the Volturi. I saw two young vampires come closer to us. Then slowly all my guest, friends and family began to fall to the floor. Although I knew it was in possible, they looked like they were sleeping. I was scared and alone. I was the only one standing and had no idea why. I tried to wake Edward up but was unsuccessful. I saw three men approach from behind the line of vampires.

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" The man in the middle said. it was then that I recognized him from the painting in Carlisle's office.

"What have you done to them? Why are you here? What do you want?" I yelled still holding Edward in my arms.

"We came to top this treason but now I see that we may be leaving with more then we had hoped for."

"I'm not going anywhere with you and I won't let you hurt anyone."

"Jane dear" the small vampire girl stepped closer with a huge smile on her face. She nodded then looked at Edward. The moment she did, my till heart broke. Edward began screaming and twitching in my arms. He was in pain and I could do nothing about it.

"STOP IT" I yelled. They all laughed at me. My Edward was still in pain. I wanted nothing more than to rip them apart. I wanted to stop Edward from being in pain. I couldn't do anything but I wanted to so badly. I closed my eyes and and kept repeating to my self, _I have to help him, I need to help him._ Then I felt something begin to pull out of me. I thought they were attacking me mentally but then Edward stopped screaming and those closest to me woke up. They were all confused but were immediately ready to attack. I heard whispers of questions and uncertainties. Edward stood in front of me crouched and ready to strike. I looked around quickly and noticed every one standing and ready to fight. I saw the Volturi and their guards look confused yet ready to advance. Everyone was still for a moment then in the blink of an eye there was a full on fight.

You could her the clashing of bodies all over. The sound of vampire flesh being ripped apart, screams of pain and anger, yelling for loved ones to be careful. Every where you looked there was someone fighting, except me. Edward stood in front of me protecting me from attacks. I wanted to help, I wanted to fight but I couldn't. I'm not sure how or why but I knew that if I tried to fight then what ever it was that was keeping every one around me from being attacked mentally would vanish. I would have stood there and continue to do what ever it was I was doing as long as they needed me to but I couldn't. I saw someone crash in to Edward. he started fighting and was distracted. I noticed someone coming up behind him and try to attack him. I wouldn't let that happen I charged her. She was caught off guard. We tumbled on the floor I ended up on top of her. She kicked me off of her, I landed on my feet. We both crouched ready to attack. We circled the empty space between us never removing our eyes from each other. We jumped at the same time and collided in midair. My newborn strength was an advantage to me. I was able to be on top and with that advantage, my mouth went for her throat. I ripped and pulled until her head came off. I smelled a fire with the smoke of burning flesh a few meters away I turned and throw her head right in to it. I left her body and went looking for Edward. I was frantic looking for my husband but could not see him anywhere. There was still fighting going on but much less now that there were less vampires to fight. I could see some fleeing and other searching.

I was trying to find my family when I felt myself being pushed and attacked. I caught by surprise I felt teeth on my neck I used my legs to push them off. As soon as they were off they attacked again but this time I was ready. We collided once more. We fought for control. Neither winning, neither losing. We struggled in vain. Then he made the biggest mistake.

"Your feisty, to bad your hubby won't be able to see it." my anger rose to an all time high. The thought of never see Edward again brought out something in me I never knew I had. I grabbed his arm and pulled it up behind him. I pushed him to the floor. Then whispered

"Burn in hell." I dug my teeth in to his throat and ripped his neck apart. I tossed his head in to the fire and the continued to dismember his body bit by bit and taking pleasure in his death. Once I was done I went of in each of my family once more. I noticed that the fighting had stopped and people were helping each other out. I found Rose first. She was tending to a wounded Emmett.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked.

"Yeah except Emmett here got a little distracted." Rose said shaking her head.

"How?" I asked in disbelief

"It's not my fault my wife is extremely hot when she's pissed. I mean I would have taken her right there if I hadn't been attacked."

"To much information Em. But I'm glad to see you are okay. Have you seen Edward or any one else?"

"I just saw Alice and Jasper go in to the house helping out some friends. I haven't seen anyone else sorry." Rose answered. I knew by the look in her eyes she knew how worried I was for Edward and that if we didn't find him soon we would have to assume the worst.

"Thanks" I said walking away from them. I looked around but saw no one. I was growing scared when I saw Esme and Carlisle cleaning up the broken bodies. Esme must have seen my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I can't find Edward. Have you seen him?"

"No I haven't" she said looking worried. She said she would help me look for him but I knew that others need her help. I thanked her and continued to look for him with no luck. The sun had set and rose and still no sign of my Edward. I became frantic. The others started helping me but all I wanted to do was cry. I didn't want to believe that he was gone for good, he couldn't be. I needed my husband back if he was gone, it wouldn't be long before I followed. /after a few more hours of fruitless searching I fell to the floor and sob uncontrollably. I just kept thinking of him. _Edward come home to me, Edward I need you right now, Edward please be okay, please let me find you._ I closed my eyes and continue think of him. I repeated the same thing over and over. Then I saw his face in my mind and I though a little harder and focused on his face. After a few moments I saw his body. The hard I thought of him the more I saw. Then I knew where he was.

"Follow me " I screamed to the others and they followed me. We ran and ran till we go to the hill I had seen in my head. Edward was on the floor and hurt. I ran to him as fast as I could. He wasn't moving.

"Edward, Edward please look at me." I pleaded he turned his head towards me and when his eyes caught mine I saw a smile on his face. Our family was around us.

"We need to go." Alice said

"Why the rush? Please stay and have some fun." an unwelcome yet familiar voice said. I knew that voice I hated that voice. My family was on guard around Edward and I. Then from behind the tree the red haired bitch that changed me came out. "It's nice to see you again Isabella I can see your doing well."

"What do you want?"

"What do you think I want Isabella. I want you to suffer. I want your precious Edward to know what it's like to live with out his love for eternity."

"It was you, you sent the Volturi to us."

"Smart girl." she looked at me then Edward then the rest of my family. "I can see that today will not be the day for my wishes to come true but I assure you that one day I will get my revenge" and with that she ran away. Emmett and jasper ran after her while the rest of us to Edward back to the house. They returned a few hours later. They had followed her but had lost her sent. We were disappointed but at least we still had each other. We all knew that with Victoria still out there we wouldn't be safe but at least we had the advantage. We knew to look out for her and with Alice on the look out it was a bit easier. We also had my new gift that I had no idea how to use.

After we got home I looked after Edward. He was fine just a little banged up from the Volturi and then Victoria. I had asked him why it was so easy for him to be taken away by Victoria. He said he had given up. He had thought I was dead and wanted to die too.

Once we were all cleaned and relaxed we discussed what had happened. We aren't sure how but we realized that I had a shield and had extended it to help my friends and family. We were lucky I could. We discussed how I knew where to find Edward. Carlisle thinks that since in my human form I was able to see more than I should have that I brought that with me in to my vampire life along with the shield that blocks Edward out of my mind.

I was happy when I finally got to spend some alone time with my Husband. We had spent a few hours tending to some of out hurt guest and then being with our family. Once we knew everything was fine Edward stole me away from every one.

"Alone at last" Edward aid as he pulled me on to the bed in our room. He kissed me.

"Hmm, do that again." I asked and he obliged "Edward?"

"Yes love?" he said as he kissed me again.

"Well technically we should be on our honeymoon right know and well I was just thinking that there are things you do on a honeymoon" if I could have blushed I would have. I knew we had done it before but I was nervous to ask. We had just gone through a great deal and I wasn't sure if it was an appropriate time to engage in such activities.

"Edward do you think we could you know..." he kissed me and I kissed back. Before I knew it were naked and I was up against the wall.

_**A/N: One more chapter after this to wrap up any lose ends. Like what happens with Victoria and the Vultori . I hope you have enjoyed this story and sorry it has taken so long to update. Let me know if there is anything you would like to see in the last chapter. Until next time. **_


	14. The End

Chapter 14 – At Last

The last eighteen months were exhausting and vampires don't get tired so easily or at all. Right after the disaster of a wedding we had the eight of us plus a few friends set up shop to find Victoria and maybe if we could take down the Voultri. Before we made any moves we all got together and practiced our fighting skills and I tried to get control of my powers. It was hard and I was getting frustrated with how hard it truly was to get a hold of them. I knew I was young but I felt like I needed to get it done to help my family. It seems that if I am truly desperate it comes out naturally as a defense mechanism but when I'm not its extremely hard. I have been working with Jasper and Kate form the Denali clan to train. With their help I can use my powers fairly well but if Jasper isn't there to manipulate my emotions I can't seem to get a hold of it. Then add Edward who after the whole thing has begun to be very clingy. We had both been through a lot and we had thought we had lost each other for good. The pain I had felt when he had left me was nowhere near what I had felt when I thought he might have been dead. I knew he felt the same as I but we still had each other and that should have eased some of his anxiety. He knew I could take care of myself if I had to and with my gifts it was that much more helpful. I hope that once we had eliminated the treat he would relax a bit. At the moment I was trying to locate Victoria with the help of Jasper.

I began to feel the rage I need to open up my mind. I focused on Victoria and her evil red eyes. I thought of all the things I had gone through because of her. I thought of all the pain Edward and I had suffered because of her. I felt my mind open as it sought her out. I focused on her and her location and my mind found her. I saw a large very old looking room I saw Victoria kneeling in front of the Voultri. The room was almost empty, it only held Aro, Marcus and Caius. They were surrounded by ten other vampires not including Victoria. I saw two of them holding Victoria and one standing behind her. I saw Aro say something then flick his wrist. The Next thing I knew everything was black. I feel back in surprise as my mind shut itself again. I looked around and saw all eyes on me. I looked at every one in the room and my eyes finally landed on Edward's. I looked at him and spoke to him although I was speaking to everyone else as well.

"She's dead." I said. I could hear everyone whispering. Some happy some concerned. The look on Edward's face was unreadable. He wanted more information, so I gave it. "I saw her with the Voultri. They weren't happy with her. Aro had her killed." Edward nodded and walked over to me. He held me in his arms and I could feel that he had relaxed some. He took me to Carlisle's office and I found the rest of my family waiting there for us.

"So what know?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not sure." Carlisle said, "We still we still don't know how many guard members are left."

"How many do they usually have with them in there castle?"

"They always have at least twenty with them at all times plus they have the castle surrounded by dozens."

"If the guards around them have gone down then it's safe to say that they may not have as many guarding the castle, right?"

"Well yes but we don't know that."

"When I saw Victoria they only had about ten members with them. I'm not saying that that is all they have but in times like this I would think they would have more with them. Too many of us have seen what they really want for them to think they are safe. My guess is either they are very down on their numbers or they have more guarding the outside." they all looked at me and had contemplative looks on their faces.

"The only way to know for sure is if we send someone in to do some recon. It would have to be some one that can get in and out without being noticed." Jasper said.

"No, she's not going." Edward almost yelled. I looked up at Edward then Jasper.

"Why me?" I asked

"If they find you out they won't know what's going on because of your shield."

"Okay but if I go Edward's coming with me." they all looked at me. "He can hear them, it could be done quicker and if we do get caught then I can block his mind." I looked at Edward. "We won't leave each other's side for anything."

"I don't know" he said to me. I could see the fear in his eyes. I cupped his face in my hand and kissed him. I looked in to his eyes. He looked back in to mine. We didn't say anything to each other but we had an understanding. The decision had not been made yet but unless another option was found it would have to be just the two of us.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It had taken five months to convince Edward that he and I would be the best for this project. With the help of our family and some of our friends that had had enough of the Vulture. We all entered Italy from different sides and we stayed in groups no larger than two or three but no one was alone. We wanted to divide and concur. We all had some way of communicating with each other. It was very important that we keep in contact. Alice kept us updated on her visions. So many things were uncertain just yet that there were a few way things could play out and that made her uneasy. Most of the outcomes we would be the overall winners but the loss wasn't really worth it. We knew we might not all make it and every one was given a chance to back out no one wanted to at least not yet.

I was taken out of my thoughts when Edward told me it was time to go in. We were going in at noon. When the sun what at its highest. We wanted to contain the fighting to the castle and not have any human casualties. We had our entire alias stationed around the castle to block or guard the exits while our strongest went in to end the Voultri regime. I had tried to make a joke about us being the cops trying to take down the Italian mob. No one thought that was very funny.

We finally made it in and were making our way to the main chambers. Edward Alice and I went in together. Jasper didn't want to leave Alice but we thought that it would work out the best. He and Emmett were not far off to our left. Carlisle, Esme and Rose were close by to our right. We had two other groups of people that would come in to the castle with us while the rest stayed out to make sure no one left. Or until they were needed inside. We had Maggie, Siobhan and Liam the Irish coven. They were coming in on the opposite side from us. Then not far behind us we had some European nomads, Alistair, Charles and Makenna.

We walked in to the main hall and found the brothers and their wives sitting around, not at all surprised to find us walking in. We looked around and it seemed they had used all the guards they had left to intimidate us. I looked at Edward and we smiled at each other that they had made it so easy for us to defeat them. Alice sent out a text out to everyone that they can bring the line tighter. We stood in front of them Alice on one side of me Edward to the other.

"We came to ask you to relinquish your thrones." I stated calmly to them. I got the reaction I expected, they laughed at me. I saw the guard get ready around us. Alice sent another text.

"I think we both know that you don't have the man power to defend yourself anymore. I think that you should step aside and you will be spared. That goes for the rest of the guard as well. If you don't want to die today then step down."

"Silly girl, what do hope to accomplish with this?"

"I want to stop you from hurting any more people because you think you're a god." They laughed at my statement but we just stood there and waited.

"You won't win and once I'm done killing all of you I will make sure no one crosses me again." Within minutes we got a signal that the guards outside had been taken care of. With a smile and my family we moved in closer.

"You're done. Here and now." I pulled my shield up around me and those close by. I wasn't sure if they had any other with the gifts we had seen before and I wasn't taking any chances. Just as they called there guards and only ten showed. Jasper sent a signal out to everyone to tighten our formation. We outnumbered them two to one. IT wasn't fast and it wasn't easy but we had been able to kill off the rest of the guard. When the only ones standing were the three self-proclaimed kings it was all too easy to finish them. They didn't even fight at that point. After we had finished and had burned the remains we sat around and tried to figure out what we were going to do.

Nothing solid was decided at that moment in time but for a while Carlisle and a few other of the older vampires stayed around and tried to keep things in order. Too many came and went looking for help or guidance and we didn't want to let them down. After a few years they decided that it would make since to have a vote for which we thought would do best. Eleazar was chosen as the leader but he said he would only be in charge for short time and then someone new should take over. We didn't want any one person taking over as The Voultri had. We just hoped it worked.

THE END


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